John Jalsevac

Human beings are awesome

John Jalsevac

The Culture of Life is about way more than just ending abortion, or stopping euthanasia, or protecting traditional marriage. The Culture of Life embraces everything that affirms the dignity, the goodness, the awesomeness of human beings and of human life.

What a lot of advocates of abortion and euthanasia fail to recognize is just how beautiful human life can be, even when it is lived in less than ideal circumstances - amidst poverty, sickness, and suffering.

That’s why I love this video here. Beethoven! In the midst of a garbage dump. On instruments made out of recycled garbage. If that’s not a metaphor for humanity’s capacity to rise above circumstances and make a beautiful life, I don’t know what is.

Enjoy!


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Softcore porn is harmless, right? Tell that to the girl who wrote me this e-mail, who I once recruited to 'just' shoot softcore porn. (Photo: model) shutterstock

I recruited her to shoot porn. Then her fiancé found the photos online.

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By Donny Pauling

Our society seems to think pornography is harmless. Surprisingly enough, I've heard numerous Christians say the same thing.  But having produced porn for nine years and having recruited more than 500 people into the business, and having watched what it did in the lives of so many, I can tell you otherwise.  

Pornography ruins lives, period. It doesn't even need to be hardcore in nature.  Softcore porn is just as destructive.

When I talk about "softcore" porn, I simply mean porn in which the model is posing alone.  She isn’t touching anyone else.  For those who think porn doesn’t hurt anyone, it couldn’t get less harmful than softcore porn, right?

In September of 2007, just a year after I left the adult entertainment business, I received the following letter from one of the girls I recruited, who had only done softcore photos for websites. What follows is word-for-word what she sent, including capitalizations and/or lack thereof:

Hey Donny,

I have a HUGE problem. I’m getting married in a month, and my fiancé FOUND MY PICTURES on the internet. He is beside himself. He is hurt and shocked and being that we are supposed to tie the knot in less than a month, I’m freakin suicidal!!! Freakin sick over this….throwing up, cannot sleep at all…I never thought in a million years that would ever happen. How long do those pictures circulate?? I am seriously pissed.

I know I did those pics and yes it was my fault, I want to get them OFF the internet. Is there any way possible to do that ASAP? I will pay you the money back, whatever it takes. This will and is ruining my life. I am fearful that his friends will see and torture him about it, or the people I work with in the military. (they are all men) I am absolutely SICK over this. I can’t eat or sleep and I honestly don’t know what to do. I swear to you, I never thought this would happen. I mean, there are a million girls on the freakin internet….why me?! and because you are supposed to be a changed man? into God and everything? please…I need to know that you understand my situation, and find it in your heart to help me. This is destroying me. I know I am 100% responsible for taking the pictures, it’s my fault. But it was a long time ago, and I was single and I needed the money. But isn’t there anything you can do to please help me now??? This was like 2 or 3 years ago? Why are my pics still on the damned internet???

My military career and soon to be marriage (if he still will) is riding on this. Don’t my pictures expire after a certain time? and you just put new ones up? or sell new ones to companies to flush out old girls? I think you can read the desperation in this email.

I am completely desperate (again) at this point Donny and need your help. Can you help me? Please. I need EVERYTHING removed. What can we do? I’ll pay you money, anything. PLEASE say you can help me. PLEASE.

Does this young lady's email give you the impression that porn is harmless?  I’ve received many emails and phone calls from models over the years, asking that their content be removed from the Internet.  The problem is that porn companies will not remove it.  If they removed the content of every model who regretted her decision, very little would be left to sell.

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The young lady who sent this email modeled for me for a very short time in 2005.  But because of the release she signed, and the photographer’s agreements I signed when I was doing business with the companies who purchased her content, I can’t do anything to get her photos off the Internet.  They will be online, or on other people’s computers, somewhere, until long after her grandchildren have grandchildren.

The personal costs were very large in numerous ways, one of which is the fact that her fiancé decided not to marry her.  The realization that his buddies, neighbors and any random person could find his wife showing so much of herself online was more than he was willing to bear.

From those of us who consume it to those of us who have worked in the business, we all play a part in the supply and demand circle that drives pornography.   I'm often asked how to fight pornography.  My advice is to start with these three words:

Just. 

Stop. 

Looking.

Any attempt to fight pornography by going after those who produce it are hypocritical while the person “fighting” porn remains a consumer of pornography.  Both consumer and producer need each other.  When we try to clean someone else's house before we've cleaned our own, we’re essentially saying that their sin is greater than our own. 

Let me share an example that illustrates why this type of thinking is flawed:

Imagine that you have three daughters and all three of them are married. 

Let's say your first daughter's husband cheated on her by taking one of his former flames out to dinner and a movie, and ended up making out with her.  The husband of your second daughter cheated on her as well, going a little bit further: he performed an act with another woman that was sexual in nature, but didn't "go all the way."  And your third daughter's husband... well, he "went all the way" with someone else.

Are you going to be happy with any one of these men?  Let me know if you'd be willing to overlook the transgressions of any of them if they came to you and said something like, "Well, I sinned against your daughter but I definitely didn't do so to the extent that your other son-in-law did, so surely I'm in a better moral position, and you should judge the other two guys more harshly than me."

Such an attitude wouldn't fly very well, would it?  Because what they actually did matters less than the fact that they broke the vows they made to your daughter.  It's a heart condition, isn't it?  None of the three men in my example are truly giving their full heart.

When we sin, we are literally cheating on God by choosing to follow the temptations set before us by His greatest enemy rather than being faithful to Him.  He can't look upon sin at all because it's not a matter of WHAT we've done, but where our heart happens to be.

This is also why God can have a relationship with repentant murderers (He called King David a "man after His own heart" and used Paul to change the world) just as easily as He can have a relationship with a repentant liar (and we have ALL lied):  the cheating heart has been changed, and it's the condition of that heart that matters to him.

No "recovering sinner" has a moral high ground on any other recovering sinner.  We're all in the same boat, in need of a savior to rescue us from the mess we've made of our lives.  And while I get the need to rid the world of the scourge of pornography, I'd like to propose that we start by eliminating its use within the church.  Let's clean our own house before we try to clean that of our neighbors. Anything else is simply hypocritical.

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7989 West Virginia Drive, Dallas, where Planned Parenthood is working on secretly opening up a new abortion facility. Google Streetview

Planned Parenthood is trying to secretly open this abortion clinic in Dallas. But pro-lifers found out.

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By Abby Johnson
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Pro-life activists protest outside the planned abortion facility in Dallas. Catholic Prolife Committee of Dallas

“For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.” Luke 8:17

We have known for years that Planned Parenthood will do anything to get into our public school system, our churches and even our neighborhoods.  

They will pose as a “medical organization” instead of saying they are with Planned Parenthood. And when they want to open a new facility, they will always use a secret identity, usually in the form of a newly formed LLC.

I have always questioned the secrecy, even when I was employed at Planned Parenthood. If we were so proud of our services, then why did we work so hard to hide them? 

Several weeks ago, I was contacted by an amazing pro-life group, the Catholic Prolife Committee of Dallas. They had learned some interesting and troubling news. Here is the report directly from them. 

The Catholic Pro-Life Committee (CPLC) received information that Planned Parenthood applied for a license to operate an ambulatory surgical center (ASC) at 7989 West Virginia Drive, Dallas (formerly Specialty Surgical Services), across from Methodist Charlton Medical Center. The property records for this location show that the deed to the property was transferred to A Brooks Group LLC on January 30, 2014 with an appraised value of over 2.2 million dollars.

According to online corporate records, Aimee B. Boone is the sole managing member of A Brooks Group, LLC. Aimee Boone (now Aimee Boone Cunningham) is an officer of the Center for Reproductive Rights and recently served as Vice President of Development for Planned Parenthood of Greater Texas (formerly North Texas). She is the daughter of Cecilia Boone, board member of Planned Parenthood Federation of America (board chair, 2012-2013).

“So what now?” they asked. The only answer was to blow this open before Planned Parenthood had a chance to announce their new property. We all know that Planned Parenthood is at their weakest when they are on the defensive.

The first day of the peaceful prayer vigil, Planned Parenthood turned the sprinklers on the pro-life activists. No problem. It’s hot here in Texas anyway, we appreciate the cold water.

I only wish I could have been present when Planned Parenthood got the call from the first reporter. They had been exposed…and they weren’t ready.

Since the release of this new information, the Dallas pro-life community has been at work. They are already outside their new facility praying and holding signs to let the surrounding medical community know that there is an abortion clinic coming to their area. 

The first day of the peaceful prayer vigil, Planned Parenthood turned the sprinklers on them. No problem. It’s hot here in Texas anyway, we appreciate the cold water.

After the sprinkler fiasco, a physician from another non-abortion providing facility came out to ask what they were doing. He was very concerned that these prayer warriors may interfere with his business. They kindly told him that they would be there EVERY DAY now that Planned Parenthood was opening an abortion facility. He said that he had an “obligation to his patients,” to which they replied, “We have an obligation to the victims of Planned Parenthood.” 

I applaud CPLC for their proactive approach to this problem. The best way to keep these centers out of our communities is to expose them for what they are. They are corrupt. They are dirty. They are not the people they want as your neighbors.

CPLC is doing active community outreach to the medical professionals in the area to inform them about Planned Parenthood and their unsavory practices. They are holding community wide events in an attempt to educate those in the local community. 

Here is more directly from CPLC and their director, Karen Garnett. 

An initial prayer vigil will take place on Saturday, August 16, 2014 at 10 a.m. on the public right of way outside 7989 West Virginia Drive, followed by a community meeting.

Planned Parenthood currently commits abortions through the first 15 weeks of pregnancy at one location in Dallas, 7424 Greenville Avenue. The fourth provision of the new Texas law (HB 2), requiring that all abortion facilities meet the safety standards of an ambulatory surgical center, is scheduled to go into effect on September 1, 2014. There has been no visible indication that Planned Parenthood on Greenville Avenue is modifying its facility to meet these requirements. Apparently unwilling to lose its profitable 'hold' on Dallas, Planned Parenthood is reportedly planning to open this new South Dallas location -- already outfitted as an ASC, where it will be able to commit abortions through five months.

'The South Dallas medical community, devoted to promoting health and saving lives, should not be forced to accept the heinous business of abortion right outside their doors, let alone through five months of pregnancy,' said Garnett. 'One has to wonder at the sad irony of pregnant mothers arriving at the nearby Methodist hospital for the joyous arrival of their babies, while Planned Parenthood takes advantage of mothers in need with the false 'hope' of abortion.'

We have seen amazing things happen in Texas this past year. We have had a record number of abortion facility closures. We have had abortionists lose licenses because of their inability to uphold the law. We have seen an unprecedented amount of “saves” on the sidewalks outside abortion facilities. As of September 1st, we will have just seven (including this new facility) abortion facilities in the state.

The end of legalized abortion in Texas is coming soon. Let this all be a lesson to us to remain vigilant in our pro-life efforts. Just because we experience successes does not mean that we can become complacent.

Thank you to CPLC and the prolife community in Dallas for being observant and exposing this. 

Planned Parenthood is of course bragging that they will run the majority of the abortion facilities that will remain open after September 1st. Hmm. Didn’t they say they wanted abortion to be safe, legal and rare? I guess they were just kidding.


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To any woman I convinced to have an abortion, I am sorry. I am sorry that we did not tell you the truth about abortion. But please know that healing is possible.

I talked her into getting an abortion. And then I ran into her at the store.

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By Abby Johnson

I used to have a standard line that I would ask people if I thought I recognized them. “Do I look familiar to you?” I would ask. I used to ask that question at least once a week, but I haven’t asked anyone that in at least four years.  

Four years ago, I saw a woman in a store and I knew that I recognized her.  I could tell that she recognized me, too, because every time we would pass each other she would give me a little smile. 

Finally, I just asked, “Do I look familiar to you?”

She started laughing and said that I did, but she could not figure out where she had seen me before.  As soon as she started talking, I knew. She had sat across from me at my desk at Planned Parenthood. I had talked her into getting an abortion. I remembered her story vividly. She was crying. I was reassuring her, saying things like, “Just because a decision makes us cry, doesn’t mean it’s not the right decision.”

I remember that I was trying to get her out of my office. We had been talking for at least 45 minutes and that was way over my 15 minute maximum for “counseling.” I knew I must have a stack of charts waiting in my box outside. I finally pulled out the final card to hurry this thing along. I told her, “If you don’t have the abortion today, you won’t be able to come back to us for at least a week and it will be more expensive. You don’t want that, do you?”

Reluctantly she said that she was ready to go back for the abortion. Good. My job was done. Every line was signed and every box was checked. 

I am sorry. I am sorry that we did not tell you the truth about abortion. I am sorry that you were deceived by people who you thought you could trust. I am sorry that we didn’t listen to you when you cried in our offices. 

I was now, once again, staring this young woman in the face. I had left Planned Parenthood. I was pro-life. I was sorry that I had done that to her. But what do I say now? I panicked and said, “Well, who knows? Maybe I will see you around again.” I rushed off, feeling ashamed.

I really hoped that would never happen again. But, it did. Several times. Each time, I would look into the woman’s eyes and walk the other way. How could I face these women? My sin was staring at me when I looked at them. I didn’t want to look at that sin. It was too real. 

After a while, it happened less and less. We moved to a different town for my work and I rarely saw people that I recognized from the clinic. And even if I did, I was more confident now. I was okay to tell them who I was and how I knew them. I was now quick to apologize for my part in their abortion. The more I healed, the easier it became. 

About six months ago, I received an email that I wasn’t expecting. My confidence was shaken in just a few seconds. A young woman had come to my clinic when she was just 16. Admittedly, I did not remember her. She told me her story through a message and I was heartbroken for her. She had gotten hooked on drugs, dealt with very serious depression and even attempted suicide after her abortion.

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She blamed me. “You told me I would feel fine after my abortion,” she said. I told her she wouldn’t have any regrets. But she did. She told me that I was the cause of her pain. And while I read her email, I felt that pain. I also felt that shame that I hadn’t experienced in several years. 

I probably read her email at least fifty times. Honestly, I thought about just deleting it…pretending that I hadn’t ever received it. But I knew I couldn’t do that. I had to respond. I had to apologize. After pondering about my response for two days, I finally sat down to write.

I took the blame. I apologized at least ten times in my first response. I didn’t make any excuses. I didn’t justify my words or actions. I just apologized, over and over again. And then I offered help. This young woman, who was now in her early twenties, needed healing. We have now had several conversations through email and phone. I was able to get her connected to a post-abortive healing ministry in her area. She is a different person. And because of her honesty, I am a different person. 

I recently asked a few former abortion clinic workers a question. “If you could go back and say something to a woman who had an abortion in your clinic, what would you say?” The responses were somewhat varied, but all had the same theme. They would tell these women that they were sorry. They would apologize for lying, for misleading them. 

So here is that apology to any post-abortive woman reading this right now. I am sorry. I am sorry that we did not tell you the truth about abortion. I am sorry that you were deceived by people who you thought you could trust. I am sorry that we didn’t listen to you when you cried in our offices. I’m sorry that you were treated like a number and not the beautiful person that you are. I’m sorry for the pain you felt. I’m sorry for any regret that you felt or continue to feel because of our dishonesty. 

As much as I wish I could, I can’t change the past. I can’t change the poor decisions that we have all made. But I can let you know that there are many of us who care about your healing. You don’t have to live with regret, pain and shame. If you haven’t yet, please take that first step and find help. Call your local pro-life group and ask about resources in your area. I have found freedom and healing from my past. You can find that freedom, too.

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