Mon Oct 15, 2012 - 1:03 pm EST
‘I still feel as if my baby is inside me’: tragic note from 15-year-old pressured to abort by mom
On March 20, 2007, I published a touching email I received from reader Bethany about her miscarried baby, who she named Blessing. Bethany included photos.
With Bethany’s permission, I posted her note and pictures. Not only did that note lead to a lasting friendship between Bethany and myself, she also went on to moderate this blog for several years and many of you know and love her.
This post about Blessing somehow became so popular that it has been the number one post on Jill’s blog, for years… and if you type “‘miscarriage” in google images, my baby’s picture is the first that shows up.
As a result, I continually get emails from women all over the world who have had miscarriage, and these pictures have helped provide them with closure. (This spurred me to write a book too).
Many of the comments Bethany receives on her post to this day are thankful. Sometimes moms just need to talk. And every now and then one of the notes is so sad, like this one that was posted on October 13. I’m breaking it up into paragraphs for easier reading….
Hi Bethany. I am 15 years old turning 16 soon. And I jus had an abortion last week Saturday, I was at least 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I really wanted to keep my baby because I had such a connection with it even b4 I new for sure that yes I was really pregnant. i didn’t get morning sickness or anything. I was jus going to bed early and waking up everyday at around 4 in the morning due to my baby’s movement.
Even though my boyfriend and I both wanted our baby our mothers thought otherwise . His mother made my mom change her mind and so my mom took me to get the procedure 3days later. My mom has gotten an abortion b4 when she was 19. And my boyfriend’s mother has gotten plenty. Thats why my mom’s telling me i will forget 1 day. But That night b4 my baby was taken away from me I sang to it all night like I used to and told it how much I loved them and how sorry I was.
Bethany, I’m the most sensative and emotional person ever I believe. Ever since last week I have been crying all day everyday at the thought of my inocent baby being gone. I think about my baby and how happy I would be if I could jus feel it’s movement inside me when I sing or rub my belly. And every night i still wake up at 4 in the morning and cry because i have gotten so used to waking up to a kick. Honestly I wish I would have seen your pictures before my procedure so I could show my mother what her grandchild looks like at 6 weeks. I bet she would have changed her mind and let me keep my baby. I’m very mature for my age and has been taking care of babies all my life. I jus dont have money to give my own baby everything it may want. Jus my care, love and affection.
I’m not sure if its my mind playing tricks on me but I still feel as if my baby is still inside me sometimes . I guess I will find out and let you know when I go back to the doctor on the 29th . I wish I had my ultrasound picture of my beautiful little black dot.
Decisions last a lifetime don’t ever get an abortion you guys. No matter how old u r a baby is still a blessing. and I get teary-eyed everytime i see someone with a baby or pregnant with 1. The three stretch marks I have will be all i have left. And when I become of age I may get a tattoo around it. Bottom line is I feel bad for all who miscarried their baby and the loss of my own Miracle.
RIP baby, I’m sorry and I do love you. I hope to see you one day. I know I would do anything to have my baby with me right now or at least feel it kick one last time.
Abortion is such a tragedy!
My thought is the baby was much older than 6 weeks, because this young mom has stretch marks and felt her baby kick…
Reprinted with permission from JillStanek.com