Abby Johnson

Confessions of a former Planned Parenthood director

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To any woman I convinced to have an abortion, I am sorry. I am sorry that we did not tell you the truth about abortion. But please know that healing is possible.

I talked her into getting an abortion. And then I ran into her at the store.

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I used to have a standard line that I would ask people if I thought I recognized them. “Do I look familiar to you?” I would ask. I used to ask that question at least once a week, but I haven’t asked anyone that in at least four years.  

Four years ago, I saw a woman in a store and I knew that I recognized her.  I could tell that she recognized me, too, because every time we would pass each other she would give me a little smile. 

Finally, I just asked, “Do I look familiar to you?”

She started laughing and said that I did, but she could not figure out where she had seen me before.  As soon as she started talking, I knew. She had sat across from me at my desk at Planned Parenthood. I had talked her into getting an abortion. I remembered her story vividly. She was crying. I was reassuring her, saying things like, “Just because a decision makes us cry, doesn’t mean it’s not the right decision.”

I remember that I was trying to get her out of my office. We had been talking for at least 45 minutes and that was way over my 15 minute maximum for “counseling.” I knew I must have a stack of charts waiting in my box outside. I finally pulled out the final card to hurry this thing along. I told her, “If you don’t have the abortion today, you won’t be able to come back to us for at least a week and it will be more expensive. You don’t want that, do you?”

Reluctantly she said that she was ready to go back for the abortion. Good. My job was done. Every line was signed and every box was checked. 

I am sorry. I am sorry that we did not tell you the truth about abortion. I am sorry that you were deceived by people who you thought you could trust. I am sorry that we didn’t listen to you when you cried in our offices. 

I was now, once again, staring this young woman in the face. I had left Planned Parenthood. I was pro-life. I was sorry that I had done that to her. But what do I say now? I panicked and said, “Well, who knows? Maybe I will see you around again.” I rushed off, feeling ashamed.

I really hoped that would never happen again. But, it did. Several times. Each time, I would look into the woman’s eyes and walk the other way. How could I face these women? My sin was staring at me when I looked at them. I didn’t want to look at that sin. It was too real. 

After a while, it happened less and less. We moved to a different town for my work and I rarely saw people that I recognized from the clinic. And even if I did, I was more confident now. I was okay to tell them who I was and how I knew them. I was now quick to apologize for my part in their abortion. The more I healed, the easier it became. 

About six months ago, I received an email that I wasn’t expecting. My confidence was shaken in just a few seconds. A young woman had come to my clinic when she was just 16. Admittedly, I did not remember her. She told me her story through a message and I was heartbroken for her. She had gotten hooked on drugs, dealt with very serious depression and even attempted suicide after her abortion.

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She blamed me. “You told me I would feel fine after my abortion,” she said. I told her she wouldn’t have any regrets. But she did. She told me that I was the cause of her pain. And while I read her email, I felt that pain. I also felt that shame that I hadn’t experienced in several years. 

I probably read her email at least fifty times. Honestly, I thought about just deleting it…pretending that I hadn’t ever received it. But I knew I couldn’t do that. I had to respond. I had to apologize. After pondering about my response for two days, I finally sat down to write.

I took the blame. I apologized at least ten times in my first response. I didn’t make any excuses. I didn’t justify my words or actions. I just apologized, over and over again. And then I offered help. This young woman, who was now in her early twenties, needed healing. We have now had several conversations through email and phone. I was able to get her connected to a post-abortive healing ministry in her area. She is a different person. And because of her honesty, I am a different person. 

I recently asked a few former abortion clinic workers a question. “If you could go back and say something to a woman who had an abortion in your clinic, what would you say?” The responses were somewhat varied, but all had the same theme. They would tell these women that they were sorry. They would apologize for lying, for misleading them. 

So here is that apology to any post-abortive woman reading this right now. I am sorry. I am sorry that we did not tell you the truth about abortion. I am sorry that you were deceived by people who you thought you could trust. I am sorry that we didn’t listen to you when you cried in our offices. I’m sorry that you were treated like a number and not the beautiful person that you are. I’m sorry for the pain you felt. I’m sorry for any regret that you felt or continue to feel because of our dishonesty. 

As much as I wish I could, I can’t change the past. I can’t change the poor decisions that we have all made. But I can let you know that there are many of us who care about your healing. You don’t have to live with regret, pain and shame. If you haven’t yet, please take that first step and find help. Call your local pro-life group and ask about resources in your area. I have found freedom and healing from my past. You can find that freedom, too.

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Why is Planned Parenthood pushing this dangerous vaccine on minority women? When I worked for Planned Parenthood, I found out.

This is not a conspiracy theory: Planned Parenthood is targeting black women with this dangerous drug

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By Abby Johnson

Ben Johnson recently wrote a great article about the damaging effects of the Gardasil (HPV) vaccine. You should all take a minute and read it here.

In his article, he talks about women who have died, 96 to be exact. And those are just the ones that have been reported.  He talks about women who have lost their fertility after receiving the highly regarded HPV vaccine. But the main focus of the article is how the Gardasil vaccine is being heavily promoted to the African-American community through ad placement on BET (Black Entertainment Television). 

When I read his article, my conspiracy alarms went off. Now, I’m not a conspiracy theorist (although I find people who are quite entertaining). But when I heard about these ads, my memory was triggered. Of course Planned Parenthood is trying to target minorities with this vaccine…they are getting big reimbursement for injecting their low income patients with this dangerous drug! Then I knew I had to write this article about my own experience inside Planned Parenthood regarding Gardasil. 

When Gardasil came out, Planned Parenthood was PUMPED. “Such a wonderful way to serve women,” they said. “This will help prevent cancer for so many young women,” one of my coworkers raved. But then I heard the real reason behind the excitement, “We are going to make so much money off of this vaccine.” Bingo. Of course they were excited. Each injection was going to cost around $200, and women have to get three to be “fully protected.” Six hundred dollars for a vaccine. That was a lot of money.

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But then I thought to myself, “Our clients don’t have $600 for a vaccine. This is going to be a huge flop.” 

What I didn’t know about at that time was the “Merck Vaccine Assistance Program.” Merck is the manufacturer of Gardasil. This program would pay 100% for the cost of the vaccine itself. Our patients would just have to pay a little $30 “injection fee” per vaccine. Ninety dollars versus six hundred was definitely doable. 

Next we were instructed to offer Gardasil to EVERY woman age 11-26 who walked through our doors. “Oh, you are here for a vaginal infection? How about a vaccine, too?” “Oh, I see you marked that you had Herpes and need treatment. Well, you better get this vaccine so you won’t get genital warts, too.” These may seem funny, but it was seriously how we were told to sell this vaccine to our clients. 

So, we started signing people up by the dozens. We faxed off countless applications for the “Vaccine Assistance Program.” Almost everyone was approved (most of our clients were low income). We were running out of vaccines. Those little bottles were flying off our refrigerator shelves at around $170 a piece, for which Planned Parenthood was being reimbursed by the Merck program. 

 I’ve never been of the belief that Planned Parenthood operates solely out of racism, but strictly sees money-making opportunities and goes for them…unfortunately, that is usually at the expense of minority women. 

I don’t know if any of these women came back in with complications. I don’t know if they presented to the ER with problems. It’s not like we did any follow up. Heck, I don’t even know if they got all three doses. My gut tells me that 80% of them did not. 

Back to the conspiracy idea. Planned Parenthood just ran a series of ads promoting Gardasil on BET (Black Entertainment Television). Ninety-six women have died, several have experienced sterility, and yet Planned Parenthood launches a big campaign targeting the African-American community? 

The pro-life movement has talked for years about how Planned Parenthood targets our minority community in the United States. And even if we totally scrap the fact that the founder of Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger, was a raging racist we can still look and find racism inside of the organization.

I’ve written before about the document that we were NOT to talk about inside of Planned Parenthood…the “Jaffe Memo.” Here is my article about that memo and what it entailed. This document was written in the late '60s by a high level official with Planned Parenthood. You will notice some really interesting ideas in the document. 

“Fertility control agents in water supply”

“Eliminate Welfare payments after first 2 children”

“Encourage increased homosexuality”

“Compulsory sterilization of all who have two children except for a few who would be allowed three”

“Payments to encourage abortion”

The document was proposed to the Population Council (a eugenics-based population control organization led by its first president, Frederick Osborn, who also served as the President of the American Eugenics Society). This was one of Planned Parenthood’s first attempts (after Margaret Sanger’s shenanigans) to reduce the minority population.

We also know that currently over 70% of Planned Parenthood facilities are located in low income, high minority communities. We know that more than 50% of African-American pregnancies end in abortion. We know that Planned Parenthood has dumped tons of money into “Promotora” programs that go into Latino communities and convince them that Planned Parenthood is the ONLY place they can go for health care. And now, they are targeting these same communities for the dangerous Gardasil vaccine.

I mean, am I crazy? How is it that rational people can’t see what Planned Parenthood is doing here? I’ve never been of the belief that Planned Parenthood operates solely out of racism, but strictly sees money-making opportunities and goes for them…unfortunately, that is usually at the expense of minority women.

And the bottom line is that this will continue to happen until these minority communities wake up to the realization that Planned Parenthood is USING them to pad their bottom line. They don’t care about health care for minorities. They care about making money off of you! This won’t stop until people stand up to this abortion giant and say “NO MORE.” What will it take for these Black and Hispanic women to simply say, “We will not be used. We will not be your pawns. We will no longer be lied to. We are better than Planned Parenthood.”

Kris Ford, an African-American woman who runs Women’s Health and Justice Initiative, said it better than I can.  “Planned Parenthood has ignored the voices of women of color and the organizations that women of color lead for years. Planned Parenthood continues to raise large sums of money off of issues of reproductive justice while framing the issues as a binary that leaves out the experiences of women and communities of color.” It’s time to do something about it. Stop buying the lie.

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People ask me all the time, “How do you live with your past?” My answer is silly, but it is a true story. Youtube screenshot

I helped so many women abort their babies. Now how do I live with that?

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By Abby Johnson
Abby Johnson business card Planned Parenthood

I have many memories of my time with Planned Parenthood. I spent eight years of my life there. Some memories are good, some are not. But they are contained in my mind. It’s easy to forget them. I have forgotten so much about my time there in just four and a half short years. 

I found my old business card the other day. That is a tangible memory for me. It made me think of the day that I heard I had been promoted to direct the clinic. I was so happy…hugging and jumping up and down with my supervisor. She was so proud of me.

I thought about the day I moved everything into my new, big office. I put pro-choice stickers all over my file cabinet. I called my parents to share the news. They were, of course, proud of me, but hated my work. I can’t imagine how conflicted they were in their minds and hearts. Human resources sent me my new paperwork. There was my new title, my new and amazing salary. 

A few days later, my new business cards came. I remember putting them in my new business card holder on my desk. I filled up the business card holder that I kept in my purse. I had already become used to hearing myself say my new title.

I was proud of myself. I was proud of the hard work I had put in to earn that new title. I worked so many hours, sacrificed so much time from my family. But I knew it would be worth it. And now I had the job title to prove it.

I remember proudly passing out my new business cards to anyone that would take one. Being pro-choice was not just a movement to me; it was a lifestyle. I wholeheartedly embraced that lifestyle and loved being a part of it. 

These tangible reminders that I occasionally find are sometimes hard to work through. I remember receiving the records from my medication abortion. That tangible reminder of my past was difficult to manage. I look at my “Employee of the Year” award that I received from Planned Parenthood and think back to the night I received it. I ended up putting that old award on my desk as a reminder of where I came from and how much my life has changed. Seeing that plaque no longer brings back those tangible memories. 

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One of the reasons I was so taken aback when finding my old business card was not just because it was a reminder of how proud I had been to run an abortion clinic…something I find deplorable now. It was because of the things I took part in while I had that big title.

The memories of handing women small monetary checks in order to pay for their silence after we had left them with a serious infection after their abortion. The memories of watching women bleed out on our abortion table and being instructed not to call the ambulance because we didn’t want to let the pro-lifers know that we had a medical emergency. The memories I have of “joking” about the babies that died in our facility by abortion. The memories I have of training our abortion facility employees on the “normalcy” of abortion and how to convince women that abortion is the best choice for them.

Part of being a former abortion clinic worker is learning how to deal with your past sin. It may be the lady who came to your clinic for an abortion that you bump into at the store. It could be standing in front of your former abortion facility and remembering all of the damage your words and actions did to so many women. It could be finding that old business card that reminds you of the pride you felt when you became the director of an abortion facility. 

People ask me all the time, “How do you live with your past?” My answer is silly, but it is a true story. 

One day I was watching the kid’s movie “Kung Fu Panda” with my daughter. In the film there is a wise, old tortoise named Oogway. He is talking to one of his students who is frustrated with his current situation. Oogway asks his student, “Do you know why today is called the present? Because it is a gift.”

That little line by an animated tortoise hit me like a ton of bricks. Today is a gift. There is absolutely nothing we can do with our past. And there is very little we can do to control our future. We live NOW. We serve NOW. We choose to move on from our past NOW. 

I don’t know what your past sins are. And I don’t know how frequently you are reminded of them. But as someone who has to face their past sins on pretty much a daily basis, I can tell you that you can be free from their burden. Being reminded of your past doesn’t mean that you have to live with constant grief. It simply means that you have been given the opportunity to transform your past into something positive…maybe you can help others make different choices than you did, maybe you can help others heal from the same struggles that you lived through. I don’t know what you are being called to do, but as the saying goes, “God can turn our mess into a message.” 

Carrying around past burdens doesn’t help us in any way. Know that you can be forgiven. Accept that forgiveness. Use your life to help others. The present is indeed a gift.

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7989 West Virginia Drive, Dallas, where Planned Parenthood is working on secretly opening up a new abortion facility. Google Streetview

Planned Parenthood is trying to secretly open this abortion clinic in Dallas. But pro-lifers found out.

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By Abby Johnson
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Pro-life activists protest outside the planned abortion facility in Dallas. Catholic Prolife Committee of Dallas

“For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.” Luke 8:17

We have known for years that Planned Parenthood will do anything to get into our public school system, our churches and even our neighborhoods.  

They will pose as a “medical organization” instead of saying they are with Planned Parenthood. And when they want to open a new facility, they will always use a secret identity, usually in the form of a newly formed LLC.

I have always questioned the secrecy, even when I was employed at Planned Parenthood. If we were so proud of our services, then why did we work so hard to hide them? 

Several weeks ago, I was contacted by an amazing pro-life group, the Catholic Prolife Committee of Dallas. They had learned some interesting and troubling news. Here is the report directly from them. 

The Catholic Pro-Life Committee (CPLC) received information that Planned Parenthood applied for a license to operate an ambulatory surgical center (ASC) at 7989 West Virginia Drive, Dallas (formerly Specialty Surgical Services), across from Methodist Charlton Medical Center. The property records for this location show that the deed to the property was transferred to A Brooks Group LLC on January 30, 2014 with an appraised value of over 2.2 million dollars.

According to online corporate records, Aimee B. Boone is the sole managing member of A Brooks Group, LLC. Aimee Boone (now Aimee Boone Cunningham) is an officer of the Center for Reproductive Rights and recently served as Vice President of Development for Planned Parenthood of Greater Texas (formerly North Texas). She is the daughter of Cecilia Boone, board member of Planned Parenthood Federation of America (board chair, 2012-2013).

“So what now?” they asked. The only answer was to blow this open before Planned Parenthood had a chance to announce their new property. We all know that Planned Parenthood is at their weakest when they are on the defensive.

The first day of the peaceful prayer vigil, Planned Parenthood turned the sprinklers on the pro-life activists. No problem. It’s hot here in Texas anyway, we appreciate the cold water.

I only wish I could have been present when Planned Parenthood got the call from the first reporter. They had been exposed…and they weren’t ready.

Since the release of this new information, the Dallas pro-life community has been at work. They are already outside their new facility praying and holding signs to let the surrounding medical community know that there is an abortion clinic coming to their area. 

The first day of the peaceful prayer vigil, Planned Parenthood turned the sprinklers on them. No problem. It’s hot here in Texas anyway, we appreciate the cold water.

After the sprinkler fiasco, a physician from another non-abortion providing facility came out to ask what they were doing. He was very concerned that these prayer warriors may interfere with his business. They kindly told him that they would be there EVERY DAY now that Planned Parenthood was opening an abortion facility. He said that he had an “obligation to his patients,” to which they replied, “We have an obligation to the victims of Planned Parenthood.” 

I applaud CPLC for their proactive approach to this problem. The best way to keep these centers out of our communities is to expose them for what they are. They are corrupt. They are dirty. They are not the people they want as your neighbors.

CPLC is doing active community outreach to the medical professionals in the area to inform them about Planned Parenthood and their unsavory practices. They are holding community wide events in an attempt to educate those in the local community. 

Here is more directly from CPLC and their director, Karen Garnett. 

An initial prayer vigil will take place on Saturday, August 16, 2014 at 10 a.m. on the public right of way outside 7989 West Virginia Drive, followed by a community meeting.

Planned Parenthood currently commits abortions through the first 15 weeks of pregnancy at one location in Dallas, 7424 Greenville Avenue. The fourth provision of the new Texas law (HB 2), requiring that all abortion facilities meet the safety standards of an ambulatory surgical center, is scheduled to go into effect on September 1, 2014. There has been no visible indication that Planned Parenthood on Greenville Avenue is modifying its facility to meet these requirements. Apparently unwilling to lose its profitable 'hold' on Dallas, Planned Parenthood is reportedly planning to open this new South Dallas location -- already outfitted as an ASC, where it will be able to commit abortions through five months.

'The South Dallas medical community, devoted to promoting health and saving lives, should not be forced to accept the heinous business of abortion right outside their doors, let alone through five months of pregnancy,' said Garnett. 'One has to wonder at the sad irony of pregnant mothers arriving at the nearby Methodist hospital for the joyous arrival of their babies, while Planned Parenthood takes advantage of mothers in need with the false 'hope' of abortion.'

We have seen amazing things happen in Texas this past year. We have had a record number of abortion facility closures. We have had abortionists lose licenses because of their inability to uphold the law. We have seen an unprecedented amount of “saves” on the sidewalks outside abortion facilities. As of September 1st, we will have just seven (including this new facility) abortion facilities in the state.

The end of legalized abortion in Texas is coming soon. Let this all be a lesson to us to remain vigilant in our pro-life efforts. Just because we experience successes does not mean that we can become complacent.

Thank you to CPLC and the prolife community in Dallas for being observant and exposing this. 

Planned Parenthood is of course bragging that they will run the majority of the abortion facilities that will remain open after September 1st. Hmm. Didn’t they say they wanted abortion to be safe, legal and rare? I guess they were just kidding.

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Abby Johnson

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Abby Johnson is the former director of a Planned Parenthood abortion facility in Bryan, Texas. After witnessing an ultrasound-guided abortion, Abby converted to the pro-life cause. She is now a leading defender of the unborn. Since leaving Planned Parenthood, Abby has founded a non-profit called And Then There Were None, which specializes in reaching out to men and women in the abortion industry, and providing them with the spiritual, financial, and logistical help that they need to exit the industry. 

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