Leslie Hairfield

The truth set me free from my two abortions

Leslie Hairfield
By Leslie Hairfield
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December 13, 2012 (Bound4Life.com) - “It’s not a life.” “It’s not a baby.” “It’s just an embryo.” “It’s not murder.” “Your life will never be the same.” “You are too young.” “You will ruin your bright future if you have this baby.” “It’s okay. It’s really not a big deal.” “I’ve had an abortion before and I am fine.” “It’s your body; it’s your choice.” “We can’t do this.” “I’m not ready.”

I could go on and on with what I have heard and what has even come from my own lips. Today I confess, I was deceived; I was wrong. Truth began to interrupt my life early in 2010. Everything I had thought and believed to be true regarding abortion and the value of a human life was shattered.

What brought me to my breaking point in 2010 ultimately began in the spring of 2008. My life was forever changed when I met a man named Jesus Christ. I surrendered my life into His hands, and left in my wake years of treacherous decisions and sins committed against God, myself and so many others. I was for many years an alcoholic, a drug user, a drug dealer, a lover of money, a lover of self, and a lover of the pleasures of the world.

At my salvation, the Lord opened my eyes to see the vanity of my pursuits, and the worthiness of pursuing Him. I fell in love with Him and His Word. My life got turned upside-down. Everything I ever believed was challenged as I read the Bible. My life was transformed day after day, as truth washed over my heart and mind.

In 2010, I began going to the Richmond International House of Prayer. The people I met there were deeply in love with Jesus, prayer and worship. I made some amazing friends and found myself spending all of my free time there. I agreed with everything they were about, except for one issue: abortion.

At RIHOP, they were passionate to pray for the unborn, the parents of the unborn, abortion centers and their staff. They prayed with such conviction and concern, it disturbed me. What I believed to be their deception was not enough to keep me from coming every week.

I could not bring myself to believe what they were saying because it was hitting something hidden deep within my heart; things that I had locked away many years before. I had two abortions at the ages of 18 and 21. I had also justified, convinced, and encouraged many others to have abortions, and even drove a friend out of state to receive an abortion because she was a minor.

Each time I had an abortion or helped another person to, I was firmly convinced I was right, and I was a good person. In the pit of my deception, I still felt the need to hide what I had done never to remember it again. These “wrong” intercessors, with their passionate prayers for the unborn, had no idea they were rattling chains hidden deep within my heart every time they prayed.

I asked the Lord to show me His heart for the unborn, if He had one. I wanted to know what He thought about the whole abortion issue. Soon my eyes and heart slowly began to open. I began seeing people wearing red wristbands with the words LIFE everywhere! Every time I saw the bumper sticker “Cure Abortion” on my best friend’s car, it became less offensive. As the weeks progressed, I could not stop wrestling over the issue. I started to think that I might be wrong.

The truth was there all along, written in His word. I was so hardened to believing it because of the stronghold of lies I had built over the years. One day while reading Psalm 139, I broke and the floodgate of tears began. Suddenly the Holy Spirit removed the veil, and I knew that every word written was true.

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance being yet unformed; and in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me when as yet there were none of them. PSALM 139:13-17

Coming to an understanding of the Lord’s heart for the unborn was the beginning of a journey marked with pain, shame, repentance, healing and freedom. I knew that I could not stand before our holy God and justify abortion on any level, nor did I want to. A baby was no less a son or a daughter to Him, whether one day conceived or one day born from their mother’s womb. I could no longer ignore my past, but had to face the horror of it. I was struck with the reality that I was a murderer. I had not simply fixed a little problem, I had ended numerous human lives from ever living this side of eternity.

I went through a time where the father of lies himself tried to crush me with the weight of my sin. I beat myself up and felt that I could tell no one of what I had done. I was burdened with heavy grief and shame, but instead of running away from and ignoring my pain as I had always done in the past, this time I ran to the Lord.

My heart was truly repentant of what I had done, yet for a time I could not fully accept the Lord’s forgiveness. In the midst of the enemy’s lies, our Father in heaven had much to say to me about who I was in His eyes. I was washed in the blood of His Son. My sins were forgiven. He did not condemn me and I must not condemn myself.

Jesus said to her, neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more. JOHN 8:11

Over time, I was able to fully open my heart to the Lord. These dark areas I had hidden away for so many years were in desperate need of His love and healing. I knew that however painful the process might be, it was necessary and He could be trusted. I will always remember this one Friday night service at the Fredericksburg Prayer Furnace. While worshiping the Lord, I heard Him speak to me, “You are not a murderer, you are My daughter in whom I am well pleased.” The truth went from my head to my heart, and finally I was able to believe it.

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On the latter end of this painful journey, I have experienced the love of our Father and the magnitude of Christ’s sacrifice like never before. I share this testimony in all humility, knowing I once was wrong and influenced the decisions of many people to have abortions. I pray they are able to forgive me. The Lord has burdened me to share my testimony, His heart for the unborn, and His heart for those that have had abortions. I know the same healing and freedom the Lord has granted me, He wants to bring to every other heart that is placed in His hands. The same truth He has gripped my heart with, He wants to grip yours with too. The blood of Jesus was poured out to atone for the sins of the world; not a select few people, and not a select few sins. The degree of our sins is irrelevant when covered in the blood of Jesus.

In searching out God’s heart for why He cares so deeply for these babies, and standing in prayer for the unborn, God has allowed me to see some of what He sees and feel some of what He feels. During my internship at IHOPKC, there were moments when God would put His heart inside of mine. These nights of prayer when the Lord revealed to me the depths of His heart have marked my life forever. The Lord also has me on a journey of discovering more of His heart for the unborn through dreams.

Not one person ever shared with me God’s heart for me or my unborn babies. I never knew of Jesus, or heard the gospel until He revealed Himself to me when I was 23 years old. Growing up, I never heard about the injustice of abortion. It was marketed as something good, and still is. I never heard about purity. All of my friends and classmates were sexually active beginning in their early teens. There is a famine in our nation of what is on the Lord’s heart and what truth really is. What is evil is declared as something good, and what is good is made to look evil! In this scarcity of truth and abundance of deception, a generation is perishing.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge… HOSEA 4:6

I can no longer keep this testimony hidden in unwarranted shame. I have held my mouth closed for far too long. There is so much God wants to say about the issue of abortion, and so much He wants to say to those who have been affected by them. He is looking for messengers willing to trumpet unpopular and even offensive messages. He is looking for messengers willing to declare His heart and truth, regardless of what others might say or think. Lives depend upon the hearing of truth. Will you be that voice?

Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die.  PROVERBS 31:8

Leslie and her husband Adam are full time missionaries at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. They work with the Life Initiatives team there. Their son Isaiah will be 6 months old on December 21. He is a living and joyful reminder to his parents and everyone around him to the value of LIFE. You can read their blog and visit their web page here.


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UK quietly opens the door to genetic engineering, ‘3-parent’ embryos

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By Hilary White

Last month the UK’s Department of Health quietly redefined the term “genetic modification” to open the door to allow certain kinds of modification of human embryos – thus potentially making it the first country in the world to allow genetic engineering.

Scottish journalist Lori Anderson recently raised the alarm over the change in a column in the Scotsman, in which she alleged that the change is designed to “dupe” the British public into accepting “full-scale germline genetic engineering,” using human embryos as test subjects.

Anderson said that in July, the Department of Health “effectively re-wrote the definition of ‘genetic modification’ to specifically exclude the alteration of human mitochondrial genes or any other genetic material that exists outside the chromosomes in the nucleus of the cell.”

“The reason for doing this is that it believes it will be easier to sell such an advancement to the public if it can insist that the end result will not be a ‘GM baby’.”

This change follows a statement from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), the government body that regulates experimental research on human embryos, approving the procedure to create an embryo from one couple’s gametes but with genetic material added from a third party donor, a procedure called in the press “three-parent embryos”.

Anderson quoted a statement from the Department of Health comparing this procedure to donating blood. The statement read, “There is no universally agreed definition of ‘genetic modification’ in humans – people who have organ transplants, blood donations, or even gene therapy are not generally regarded as being ‘genetically modified’. The Government has decided to adopt a working definition for the purpose of taking forward these regulations.”

This assertion was challenged by one of the UK’s leading fertility researchers, Lord Robert Winston, who told the Independent, “Of course mitochondrial transfer is genetic modification and this modification is handed down the generations. It is totally wrong to compare it with a blood transfusion.”

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The HFEA, which throughout its history has been known as one of the world’s most permissive regulatory bodies, has been working steadily towards allowing genetically modified embryos to be implanted in women undergoing artificial procreation treatments. In a document issued to the government last year, they called the insertion of mitochondrial DNA (mDNA) into embryos “mitochondrial donation” or “mitochondrial replacement”. mDNA is the genetic material found in the cytoplasm outside a cell’s nucleus, problems with which can cause a host of currently incurable genetic illnesses.

In the statement issued in June, the HFEA said the technique of inserting “donated” mDNA into already existing in vitro embryos, “should be considered ‘not unsafe’ for the use on a ‘specific and defined group of patients.’”

“Mitochondria replacement (or mitochondrial donation) describes two medical techniques, currently being worked on by UK researchers, which could allow women to avoid passing on genetically inherited mitochondrial diseases to their children,” the statement said.

The HFEA admitted that the techniques are “at the cutting edge of both science and ethics” and said that the results of a “public consultation” in 2012/13 were being examined by the government, which is considering “draft regulations”.

In June, the Society for the Protection of Unborn Children echoed Lori Anderson’s concern, commenting that the HFEA is attempting to deceive the public. Paul Tully, SPUC’s general secretary, said, “Human gene manipulation is being sold to a gullible public on a promise of reducing suffering, the same old con-trick that the test-tube baby lobby has been using for decades.” 

Any manipulation of human genetics, always breaks “several important moral rules,” entailing the creation of “human guinea-pigs,” Tully said. “Human germ-line manipulation and cloning – changing the genetic inheritance of future generations - goes against internationally-agreed norms for ethical science.”

He quoted Professor Andy Greenfield, the chairman of the scientific review panel that approved the techniques, who said that there is no way of knowing what effect this would have on the children created until it is actually done.

“We have to subject children who have not consented and cannot consent to being test subjects,” Tully said.

Altering the mDNA of an embryo is what cloning scientists refer to as “germline” alteration, meaning that the changes will be carried on through the altered embryo’s own offspring, a longstanding goal of eugenicists.

In their 1999 book, “Human Molecular Genetics” Tom Strachan and Andrew Read warned that the use of mitochondrial alteration of embryos would cross serious ethical boundaries.

Having argued that germline therapy would be “pointless” from a therapeutic standpoint, the authors said, “There are serious concerns, therefore, that a hidden motive for germline gene therapy is to enable research to be done on germline manipulation with the ultimate aim of germline-based genetic enhancement.”

“The latter could result in positive eugenics programs, whereby planned genetic modification of the germline could involve artificial selection for genes that are thought to confer advantageous traits.”


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Cable series portrays nun as back-alley abortionist

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By Ben Johnson
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'To depict a nun who performs an abortion is a new low,' said Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights.

The Cinemax TV series The Knick portrayed a Roman Catholic nun as a back alley abortionist who tells a Catholic woman God will forgive her for going through with the procedure.

In its latest episode, which aired Friday night, the series showed Sister Harriet (an Irish nun played by Cara Seymour) telling a Catholic woman named Nora, “Your husband will know nothing of it. I promise.”

“Will God forgive me?” Nora asked, adding, “I don't want to go to Hell for killing a baby.”

“He knows that you suffered,” the sister replied, before performing the illegal abortion off-screen. “I believe the Lord's compassion will be yours.” 

The period medical drama is set at the Knickerbocker Hospital (“The Knick”) in New York City around the turn of the 20th century, when abortion was against both civil and ecclesiastical law.

“It is no secret that Hollywood is a big pro-abortion town, but to depict a nun who performs an abortion is a new low,” Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, said. “The only saving grace in this episode is the real-life recognition of the woman who is about to have the abortion: she admits that her baby is going to be killed.”

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The series is directed by Steven Soderbergh, known for such films as Erin Brockovich, the Oceans Eleven franchise, and Sex, Lies, and Videotape. More recently he directed The Girlfriend Experience, a film about prostitution starring pornographic actress Sasha Grey.

Critics have hailed his decision to include a black surgeon in circa 1900 America. But after last week's episode, the New York Times stated that The Knick has chosen to “demonstrate concern for other kinds of progress,” citing the depiction of the abortion. 


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Balcony of the Grandmaster Palace in Valletta, which houses the Maltese Parliament. Shutterstock
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Catholic Malta enacts ‘transgender’ employment discrimination law

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By Hilary White

An amendment to Malta’s Employment and Industrial Relations Act means that employment “discrimination” against “transsexuals” is now officially prohibited in the Catholic country. The provision, which was quietly passed in May, came into effect on August 12th.

The law allows those who believe they have a complaint to make a case with the National Commission for the Promotion of Equality, with an industrial tribunal or the courts. A government spokesman told local  media, “Employees do not need to prove that their employer has discriminated against them.”

“They only need to provide enough evidence pointing to a likely case of discrimination. The employer will then need to prove that discrimination has not taken place.”

The amendment defines illegal discrimination against “transgendered” people as, “in so far as the ground of sex is concerned, any less favourable treatment of a person who underwent or is undergoing gender reassignment, which, for the purpose of those regulations shall mean, where a person is considering or intends to undergo, or is undergoing, a process, or part of a process, for the purposes of reassigning the person’s sex by changing physiological or other attributes of sex.” 

Silvan Agius, Human Rights policy coordinator with the Ministry for Social Dialogue, Consumer Affairs and Civil Liberties, told Malta Today newspaper that the new amendment brings Maltese law into harmony with EU law.

“This amendment is continuing the government’s equality mainstreaming exercise. The inclusion of gender reassignment in the Act also brings it in line with the anti-discrimination articles found in both Malta’s Constitution and the Equality for Men and Woman Act,” Agius said.

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Agius is a key member of the homosexual activist apparatus in Malta’s government working to entrench the ideology of gender in law in Malta and elsewhere. In June, he was a featured speaker, with the notorious British anti-Catholic campaigner Peter Tatchell, at a Glasgow conference organised by the Edinburgh-based Equality Network, a group that helps organise and train homosexualist campaign groups.

The amendment to the law follows promises made recently by the country’s equalities minister, Helena Dalli, to a “transgender” congress in Hungary in May. Dalli, who brought forward Malta’s recently passed same-sex civil unions bill, told a meeting of gender activists in Budapest that while her government’s focus had been mainly on homosexuals, that she would shortly be turning her attention to “trans” people.

“The next step now is a Bill towards the enactment of a Gender Identity law. A draft bill has been prepared and it has now been passed to the LGBTI Consultative Council for its vetting and amendment as necessary,” Dalli said.

“Some of you may be thinking that we are moving forward quickly. I have a different perspective though. We are doing what is right, what should have been done a long time ago,” she added.

Since the legalisation of divorce in 2011, Malta has been remarkable for its rapid adoption of the gender ideology’s agenda. In 2013, Malta was named the “fastest climber” on the Rainbow Europe Index, a survey organised annually by ILGA Europe, the leading homosexualist lobby group funded directly by the European Union.

The ILGA Europe report notes (p. 114) that Helena Dalli Helena “was one of 11 EU Member States’ equality ministers to co-sign a call for the European Commission to work on a comprehensive EU policy for LGBT equality.” The report also noted that although the new Labour government has proved cooperative, the Christian Democrat Nationalist Party has “progressively proved more receptive to LGBTI issues, including same-sex unions.”


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