Pulse
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I am a mom of a three year-old-little girl and had no plans to get pregnant again because I have a severe spinal injury — a fused pelvis full of metal and can barely walk. I am in constant pain. My pain was so severe I was on dilaudid pills.

I got hurt while on active duty in the U.S. army, during training. My condition is a result of multiple injuries. First, I broke my leg — a complete compound fracture, but I was lied to and was told it was only a sprain – so I then attempted to jump out of a five-ton vehicle with 100 lbs. of gear on my body. The drop off was five-and-a-half feet high. I was standing when I jumped.

My ligaments across my sacrum could not handle the stress, because the leg had not healed at that point, so my pelvis gave out on impact, resulting in bilateral tears across the SI joint. I kept going, even though it was painful, just like I did with the leg, because my dream was to be an airborne soldier.

While practicing to fall from an eight-foot tall platform, the same thing happened to my other side and my pubic bone. I now have half of a pubic bone, and the only thing holding my pelvis together is my metal hardware, most of which is loose.

There is a lot of pain from that. As a result, I have several more surgeries to undergo because the first two were not done properly.

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An x-ray of Lauren's broken pelvis.

It's been extremely painful. My life has completely changed since I got out of the military, and I've been all across the USA to get treatment for my condition.

When I became pregnant, I had only been dating the father for a month and a half. The first time we were intimate, our choice of birth control failed. I didn't think twice about it, because it took 10 months for me to conceive my three-year-old daughter. I had no clue that at that moment, I had already become pregnant again.

A few weeks later, when I wasn’t even late yet, I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive.

I had convinced myself at first to get an abortion. I talked myself into it thinking it was justifiable because of my injuries and how hard it would be on me. And the list of ways abortion would make my life easier was long, it seemed. Despite having some Christian background, I was sold on abortion as my solution.

When I called my boyfriend to tell him I was pregnant, he just wanted to support whatever decision I made. After visiting an OB/GYN, I went to one appointment at Planned Parenthood, without telling anyone.

They performed an ultrasound, and I saw the baby. I saw that at just 10 weeks, she looked human. I had already detoxed off my pain medication and was still having severe morning sickness. My boyfriend and I were on a break from our relationship. So, I made the follow up appointment for a couple days later to have the “procedure done.”

The day before, I was still convinced it was the right thing to do. On my way to the abortion facility, I nearly threw up from a bout of morning sickness. I pulled the car over – I was alone – and I couldn't stop vomiting.

Since I was late for the appointment, I rescheduled for the following day. The same thing happened, but this time, instead of feeling nothing, I looked at the ultrasound photo from three days prior, saw the little human, and just started to cry.

I realized I had made so many “me” and “I” statements. I am poor, living on VA disability. I found a bunch of reasons not to have this baby. But as I sat there, I realized I made a choice to have sex — the baby did not ask to be here. At that moment, I realized, “Who am I to pick which of my kids lives and which one dies?”

It wasn't as simple as a “procedure,” and that was the thing – I was going to kill a baby. The baby has a heartbeat, a face, fingers, and toes.

That day, I turned around went back home and prayed. I had a “come to Jesus meeting,” as I like to say. I felt bad that I even considered killing my child, and I asked for forgiveness.

I told the baby’s father I couldn't do it, and he said he was glad I didn't – that he thanks God I did not! We haven’t been a couple long, but we decided no matter what happens with us, we will be there for our daughter. I had even considered adoption if I felt I couldn't care for her myself.

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This pregnancy wasn’t easy — in fact, my baby girl was diagnosed in utero with a rare heart condition — a right-sided aorta with a vascular ring – as well as bladder issues.

I had trouble walking and had to use a wheelchair and walker. My nausea almost had me hospitalized and lasted 24 weeks. I ended up with placenta previa, as well as placenta abrupta at 20 weeks, which healed itself.

I had to see a neonatal specialist, as well as a regular doctor. I needed to have a c-section two weeks early because of my pain. I have a pubic plate and bilateral SI joint fusion, so I could not push a baby out. A pelvis specialist was on call while I was in the operating room during delivery because of my hardware and nerve damage.

I am sharing my story because if I can complete a pregnancy in extreme pain, having disabilities, and not being affluent, anyone can.

I am so glad I continued my pregnancy! There is no way I would have been able to forgive myself if I had gone through with the abortion.

Now I have my beautiful daughter: Alexia Grace, born August 27th.

I know I am a good mom, and I know that every child deserves a chance at life!