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Email: "A Letter from a Mother with an Unborn Child with Foetal Abnormalities"

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BY LifeSiteNews.com The writer sent this letter to LifeSiteNews and another to ethicist Dr. Margaret Somerville, an edited version of which was published in the Ottawa Citizen. Dear LifeSiteNews.com, I’m sure that you have probably heard many stories like the one I’m about to tell, but wish to share mine with you anyway.I am a happily married, 32-year-old Catholic elementary school teacher. This past February, after 7 glorious months of marriage, my husband and I discovered we were expecting a baby in October. While we did not deliberately try to get pregnant, I had been taking Folic Acid as advised by my doctor since August, since we were not practicing any form of medical birth control. This fact, together with the fact I did not experience any morning sickness, helped my doctor indicate the happenings of a "regular" pregnancy, and to not offer any genetic testing (we would have refused it regardless). Then, at a scheduled 20-week ultrasound, the technician discovered something in her sonographs that caused her to consult with the radiologist on duty. He told us that our baby appeared to have hydrocephalus, and that we would be referred to the "high-risk maternal unit" at the (university teaching hospital in our area) in a few days.Four days after this initial ultrasound, a second detailed ultrasound was completed, and reviewed by a fetal maternal specialist Dr. G. He informed us that our baby had holoprocencephaly (a hole in the brain stem), much fluid in his brain, and a severe heart condition. At this point, the doctor offered a few options (not necessarily in this order): a termination of the pregnancy; the opportunity to perform an amniocentesis; or an uninterrupted continuation of the pregnancy.Given that I was raised a Catholic, am a practicing one, and teach in a Catholic school, I already knew that a termination was not an option for me, and I informed the doctor of this immediately. He was extremely supportive of this decision, despite obviously disagreeing(with references to "quality of life"), and said that he would happily monitor me through this pregnancy, and future ones.The next day, Dr. G performed an amniocentesis. It was my understanding that results from the amniocentesis might have the ability to indicate the cause of our baby’s abnormalities, and therefore help to determine possible future developments related to the pregnancy. Dr. G was certain that the results would show that one of five known "lethal" chromosomes was responsible for our baby’s health,  that the findings were a "fluke" of nature,  and that our baby would die quite quickly after birth (if he made it that far).So far (a month and a half after the initial information was passed down), no testing has shown a cause of the abnormalities. Long story short, Dr. G’s "certainty" was discounted , and he now only says that he still believes that what has happened is a "fluke" of nature, and that we can have future healthy babies. He honestly says that he cannot predict whether our baby will die in-utero, shortly thereafter, or whether he will live for a time. We have been told by another specialist (heart doctor) that our baby’s heart condition can be repaired with surgery, but leaves that decision to us considering the severity of the brain condition. Both doctors have indicated, that should we wish, during labour, our baby can receive an injection that can stop his heart before he is born (which of course is also not an option in our opinions).As I am writing this letter, the little one in my womb is moving around, kicking his mother, and hopefully enjoying a refreshing swim. I am told that he knows no pain, and that while he is in the uterus, he is as safe as can be. I walk him every day, talk to him often, and pray for him always. I tell you this because I want you to know that, despite the grim outlook described above, I am carrying this baby as long as he will let me, and will not be the killing hand. After his birth, if he lives longer than a few days, my husband and I will let ourselves be advised by doctors, but do not intend to extend extraordinary means to keep our little one alive (as hard as that will be). Our prayer is simple: That we will get to meet our little one, tell him that we love him, and watch him fall deep into a sleep that will bring him to heaven.With each new day, my reality is in some ways becoming more "accepted". For example, I know that I cannot change my circumstances, and therefore must proceed with the daily grind of life. In other ways, it becomes more difficult. It is a very odd experience to be pregnant, knowing that I may never get to bring my baby home from the hospital, and that instead of anticipating his whole life, I may have to prepare for his funeral and burial. At time it’s hard to see other pregnant women, to hold newborns, and to discuss things like cribs, strollers, and nursery decorations. Still, I am extremely confident in my decision not to "terminate" this pregnancy, and to allow my son the opportunity to live for as long as he can. The Internet tells me that there are children living with the same brain condition around the world, but says nothing of children living with severe heart and brain conditions.Every one in our lives has been extremely supportive to us, whether or not they agree with our decision. We are continually amazed by the people who tell us they are praying for us and by those who say they are always thinking of us. We are also in awe of how our little one continues to live despite his abnormalities. I say he must really be extraordinary to be discounting all medical theses with respect to chromosome/gene results, and his longevity! I tell him that even the doctors aren’t sure why he’s lived so long(i.e. that most babies with these abnormalities self-abort long before now), and that he is special because of this.But I digress. As I said in the beginning, I am telling you my story because I want you to know (and to tell the world), that there are women who do not wish to "terminate" their pregnancies despite devastating news, and that the option of abortion is definitely offered past the point of 12 weeks. In fact, I am sure that for many women, abortion is strongly recommended in cases like mine, especially if women do not have a strong belief about it originally. As I told you, several references to quality of life were made at the initial meeting with the high-risk physician. And, I firmly believe that had I not been so definitely opposed, the option of abortion may have been the end of my story. (except for future psychiatric pills) Cheers, M.G. http://www.lifesitenews.com/resources/a-letter-from-a-mother-with-an-unborn-child-with-foetal-abnormalities/

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