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WASHINGTON, DC - JANUARY 11: Dr. Anthony Fauci testifies during a Senate hearing on Capitol Hill Photo by Shawn Thew-Pool/Getty Images

(LifeSiteNews) — Dr. Anthony Fauci of lockdown and vaccine fame told viewers of MSNBC’s Morning Joe on Tuesday that “we are still in the middle of a pandemic.”

What is interesting, besides his god-complex and megalomania, is that he said we are in the “third year” of the so-called pandemic.

That is a bit strange, considering the Monday Night Football-esque countdown to the apocalypse didn’t start until March 2020, which is hardly three years ago.

Come to think of it, I did hear something about the virus being released in 2019, and there was all this hubbub about Fauci leading the charge to create viruses in Chinese labs. Well, anyway, probably just another conspiracy theory.

As part of his interview with the borderline communist news network, he lamented that only 13 per cent of those eligible have taken the “updated” booster.

Perhaps someone can help me out here, I have lost track of all the boosters. Is he talking about the first remix version? Or is this a remix to the remix? Maybe he is referring to the jab that when you take it you also get a rebate on a TV as part of a Black Friday deal, with no purchase financing until 2024.

He did explain the timing of how and when you should get boosted, saying: “If you have been infected with COVID, you wait three months minimum to get a booster. If you have had a booster in the past but not the updated one… you wait at least two months before you get the next shot… that’s easy.”

I’m sorry – what?

I am a bit confused, because he didn’t explain if you are supposed to stand on one foot or make sure you do this all while there is a full moon. All this medicine stuff is so confusing, we are so lucky to have Emperor Faucitine explain COVID math to us.

In any case, he went on to say that before you spend time with family, you should get tested so that you know you are negative. So, in Fauci’s mind – what a dangerous place that must be – you should get the Optimus Prime three-in-one COVID jab 2.0, and also make sure you go to a pharmacy and get tested to make sure you don’t have the virus you took 11 shots for, before you see your family.

Well, whatever you decide to do this Christmas, whether you listen to Fauci’s endless verbal diarrhea, or live like a human being, just be sure that if you get your children any Bugle puppies, that you keep them away from Fauci.

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Kennedy Hall is an Ontario based journalist for LifeSiteNews. He is married with children and has a deep love for literature and political philosophy. He is the author of Terror of Demons: Reclaiming Traditional Catholic Masculinity, a non-fiction released by TAN books, and Lockdown with the Devil, a fiction released by Our Lady of Victory Press. He writes frequently for Crisis Magazine, Catholic Family News, and is on the editorial board at OnePeterFive.