November 2, 2018 (Radiance Foundation) – November is National Adoption Month. But what is adoption?
We often hear about it, particularly as one of two alternatives to the injustice of abortion. Millions of us are the recipients of this incredible gift, where our birthparent(s) turned the unplanned into a loving plan. Yet, there are still so many misconceptions about it.
I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old. Nine of my other twelve siblings were adopted as newborns, as toddlers, and as teens out of the foster care system.
Adoption happens because of brokenness. In the natural and the supernatural, this courageous act of love and selflessness helps to bring healing, hope and wholeness. It was God's plan to reconcile us to Himself as evidenced in Ephesians 1:4-5: "For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship (or daughtership) through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will."
But the way we understand adoption skews the way we apply it in our society. Perhaps, it explains why there were only 110,373 adoptions in 2014 (the latest year reported by the National Council for Adoption, or NCFA) yet 926,200 abortions. In 2007, according to the same NCFA report, there were 133,737 adoptions. So, total adoptions in the U.S. have fallen. Part of the decline is due to a reduction in international adoptions, but the fact remains that the number of infant adoptions was only 18,329, and 57,397 children in foster care (in 2014) who were available for adoption weren't adopted. The most recent stats reveal that out of the 117,794 foster children available for adoption in 2016, 57,208 were thankfully adopted; 60,586 precious vulnerable children were not.
As a nation, we must do better. So much better.
No child should languish in foster care. No mother should feel that the violence of abortion is even an option. Our pregnancy centers, in all of the incredible frontline work they do to protect mothers, fathers and their children, aren't enough to create a culture that values Life and encourages adoption. Our churches must do a better job leading in the defense of Life, at its most vulnerable, in what the Book of James declares as pure religion: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Yes. The same Christ who was humanly "unplanned". In fact, I was recently struck as I read Matthew 1:1-16 about the birth of Christ. I have read this many times throughout my life, but something profound happened to me this time. It's not Mary's genealogy that is detailed in the opening chapter. It is the genealogy of the man who would become Jesus' adoptive father – Joseph. Christ's lineage was drawn from a man who was not genetically tied to him, at all. The paradigm of adoption was revealed in a courageous teen mother with a humanly unplanned pregnancy (certainly Divinely planned), a father who chose to love rather than to leave, and a Savior who would sacrifice himself in order to offer redemption, adoption and transformation to those who confess and believe.
Adoption is courageous and messy and joyful and mysterious and loving. We need to uplift all of those in this beautiful triad – the birthmom/birthdad, adoptee and adoptive family. No one's pretending it's easy. Parenting biological children isn't easy, unless I missed the memo that genetically related children present no problems in life.
I loved my adoption journey as do the majority of adoptees. I'm loved just as much as my parents' first three homemade children. I love being an adoptive father. Out of my four children, two are also adopted...and loved like crazy. (Yes, I'm using the word "love" a lot. No other word suffices.)
Adoption doesn't just change the child. It changes the family, the community, and sometimes...the world. Look at the late CEO of Apple, Steve Jobs. He was adopted and loved, too. And he, inarguably, changed the world.
This November, and every month, may we rethink false narratives on adoption. May we look at this act for what it is...transformative love. I'm a firm believer that's there's always a "plan" in the "unplanned". What we don't see from a human perspective, God knows from a Divine perspective. We're meant to be, regardless of the circumstances of our conception, regardless of our real or perceived abilities or disabilities, regardless of what others think we contribute to this world. We have equal and irrevocable worth simply because we exist. And adoption is a powerful and culture-changing way to unleash that God-given Purpose.
Published with permission from the Radiance Foundation.