I recently spoke at an amazing pro-life conference in Washington State. After my talk, I had a woman come up to me and tell me that I should really tone down my message. She said that she is sure that my message will offend people. She said that I should try to find “common language” with those who support abortion.
Okay, let’s explore that.
“Common language” sounds nice, but when you actually look at the differences behind that language, you see it just isn’t possible. Here are eight reasons why finding a “common language” with pro-aborts is impossible:
1. When I say, “I want women to have access to authentic female healthcare,” I mean that I want women to have access to healthcare that supports their natural femininity. I mean that I want women to have access to healthcare that doesn’t include the use of contraception and abortion.
Maybe it’s time to worry less about delivering watered down messages and speak truth in love without compromise.
When an abortion supporter says, “I want women to have access to authentic female healthcare,” they mean that they believe women should have easy (and free) access to pills that suppress their fertility. They mean that they believe that taking the lives of unborn children is part of healthcare.
2. When I say, “I want women to have control over their bodies,” I mean that I want women to know and embrace their fertility. I want women to value their bodies, not simply be seen as a sex object. I want women and men to understand the dignity of their sexuality. I want women to understand that the most beautiful thing a woman’s body does is to grow other human beings.
When an abortion supporter says, “I want women to have control over their bodies,” that is a rallying cry for abortion. They mean that women should be able to control and kill the separate human being in their body. They mean that they want women to hate their fertility, to see it as enslavement, and in response to that, to “fix” their unbroken fertility with pills and other invasive methods of birth control.
3. When I say, “I want women to be safe,” I mean that women deserve better than abortion. I mean that I want women to stay away from abortion because it is not safe for them. I want women to understand the physical and emotional consequences related to abortion.
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When an abortion supporter says, “I want women to be safe,” they mean that they want women to have unlimited access to abortion services without any additional barriers…even if those barriers are there to protect women.
4. When I say, “I want women to choose what’s best for them,” I mean that I want women to make choices that don’t involving harming themselves or killing another human being. I want women to know that there are other choices besides abortion…choices they can live with and have no regret.
When an abortion supporter says, “I want women to choose what’s best for them,” they almost always mean abortion. Abortion supporters have attempted to normalize abortion in a way that makes it seem “okay” to take the life of another human being. They aren’t interested in a woman actually making a choice. They are interested in women having abortions.
5. When I say, “I want us to take care of children,” I mean that we should take care of all children…born and unborn. I mean that we should all stand up for those in our foster care systems. I mean that we should sacrifice our luxuries for children and their mothers.
When an abortion supporter says, “I want us to take care of children,” they mean that we should only care for those who are already born. And what they really mean is that it is only the pro-life movement’s responsibility to care for children in foster care. They mean that it’s only our responsibility to provide for women and their children. They mean that they are not willing to sacrifice their own luxuries, but we are to sacrifice ours.
6. When I say, “I stand for equal rights,” I mean equal rights for all persons…from the moment of conception until natural death. I mean that I believe in the equal human dignity of all persons, no matter the “contribution” they make to society.
When an abortion supporter says, “I stand for equal rights,” they mean that they only stand for the rights of those who are contributors to society. They are quick to marginalize the most vulnerable among us: the unborn, the elderly and the differently-abled.
7. When I say, “I am for choice,” I mean that I am for choices that don’t involve killing a human being. I mean that I support women making wise choices before they get pregnant. I am for women choosing to make adoption plans, choosing to be single parents, choosing to marry the father of their child and raising that child together, choosing to still pursue a career and education after having a child, choosing to ask their parents and support system for help when raising their child.
When an abortion supporter says, “I am for choice,” they really only mean the choice of abortion. Period.
8. When I say, “I want women to feel empowered,” I mean that I want women to embrace their bodies, their fertility and their children. I want women to know that they don’t have to choose between their baby and their education…that they don’t have to choose between their baby and a career…that they don’t have to choose between their baby and a man. I want women to know that there are hundreds of people who will support them in their decision to parent or place their child for adoption. I want them to know that abortion strips you of your power. I want them to know that empowerment does not come from pitting a woman against her child.
When an abortion supporter says, “I want women to feel empowered,” they mean that women are too weak to be moms and complete their education. They mean that you have to choose between being a mom and having a successful career. They mean that they actually have no idea what empowerment really is.
Abby, how can you possibly say these things? How can you possibly know what abortion supporters mean when they say these things?? Well, because I have said these things on both sides of this issue. I know the meaning behind these phrases as an abortion supporter, because I was one for eight years.
I speak on this issue because I get it. I get how people are blinded by language. And honestly, I get how people are blinded by our desire to “meet in the middle.” But when you look at the reality of abortion, there is no middle ground. You either support the killing of the unborn or you don’t. There is no grey area.
How do we convert people? How do we help them see that the meaning behind our language is totally different?
Well, we just speak charitable truth. We love people. And sometimes that truth and love offends. We have to be okay with that.
Maybe it’s time to worry less about delivering watered down messages and speak truth in love without compromise. Maybe we should worry less about offending those who are far away from the truth. Maybe we should worry more about being compassionate, loving and planting seeds of truth…even if it’s a hard truth.
I say it’s time to stop apologizing for delivering our message of truth. I will never be sorry for speaking the truth in love.
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