Confessions of a Sex & the City addict: It destroyed my life

The show did 'permanent and measurable damage to my psyche that I’m still cleaning up.'
Tue Jun 12, 2018 - 12:47 pm EST
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NEW YORK, June 11, 2018 (LifeSiteNews) – A woman who based her life on the 1990s most influential television sex comedy has lived to regret it. 

Julia Allison, the star of Bravo’s short-lived “Miss Advised” reality show, wrote a sad confession in the New York Post last week to mark the 20th anniversary of HBO’s “Sex & the City”.

Based on a book by Candice Bushnell, “Sex and the City” followed the amorous adventures of three 30-somethings and one 40-something in 1990s Manhattan. The show, which ran for 6 seasons and inspired two films, starred Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie), Cynthia Nixon (Miranda), Kim Cattrall (Samantha), Kristin Davis (Charlotte), and Chris Noth (Mr. Big). It combined clever dialogue and stunning sets with soft-core pornography.

Allison fell in love--with the show. 

“I was a rising high school senior when ‘Sex and the City’ debuted in 1998,” she wrote, “and I was instantly enthralled. I wanted to be like Carrie and her friends: I wanted to be glamorous and beautiful and dress well and have lots of dates.”

When she went to Georgetown University, a Catholic college in Washington, D.C., she dolled up and revelled in male attention. Mimicking Carrie Bradshaw’s career as a sex columnist, she wrote her own dating column for the college paper. It was called “Sex on the Hilltop.” And, naturally, after university she rushed to New York City, envisioning Carrie’s life of “nonstop brunching and shopping.” 

Allison discovered, however, that becoming a real-life Carrie Bradshaw would be difficult, especially as budding columnists don’t earn enough to buy Carrie’s snazzy wardrobe. Until her big break in 2006, when she got a job writing for “Star” magazine, Allison depended on the men she dated for both food and the designer accessories she craved: 

“I lived on food bought for me on dates and the occasional bodega tuna sandwich,” she wrote. “Different men I dated gave me [Yves St Laurent] shoes and status purses, just like [billionaire boyfriend] Big did for Carrie on “SATC”.

But most tragically, Allison adopted Carrie Bradshaw’s sexual philosophy, which can be summed up as “Why should women feel any attachment to the men they sleep with?” Carrie recorded her sexual adventures in her fictional column; Allison did the same in real life. 

“There was no such thing as a bad date,” she wrote, “only a good date or a good brunch story.” 

Her social life and attempts to make it as a real-life Carrie Bradshaw brought her the attention of the satirical gossip website Gawker, whose attacks “devastated” her.  And her career ambitions led her to film pilot after pilot of shows inspired by the popularity of “Sex and the City”, always with “Allison” in the “Carrie” role. When one of the shows finally “made it”, she discovered that she was tired of having cameras around all the time. 

Now she regrets swallowing the worldly and cynical message of the television show.

“I do wonder what my life would have looked like if “Sex and the City” had never come across my consciousness,” she said. “Perhaps I’d be married with children now?”

“Truth be told, I wish I had never heard of “SATC.” I’m sure there are worse role models but, for me, it did permanent and measurable damage to my psyche that I’m still cleaning up,” she wrote.

“Sure, I could have been a dating columnist for the rest of my life but, honestly, I gave really bad dating advice — and so did Carrie Bradshaw,” she added.

  pornography, sex and the city

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