‘Forever in my heart’: finding healing after an abortion and a stillbirth
May 1, 2013 (LifeSiteNews.com) - Hannah Rose Allen vividly remembers the decisive moment when she knew that she was going to choose life for her child.
At nineteen years old, this was Allen’s second pregnancy. The first had ended only a few months before with a traumatic chemical abortion that had left her empty, grieving and numb. She had tried to escape the pain by throwing herself into another relationship, only to find herself pregnant again.
Allen had scheduled a second abortion for August 15th, but on a quiet summer evening after the date had come and gone, she found herself standing outside, taking in a beautiful sunset, with her child still growing inside her. She was, she says, still trying to understand why she had not walked through those clinic doors.
“I felt like I had committed the unforgiveable sin,” she remembers. “What’s another abortion? I’ve already had one. It’s too late for me to have a successful life, a happy life, to be a Christian. It’s just too late.”
But that evening, in a moment of piercing clarity, she knew that the fact that she had not gone to Planned Parenthood on the 15th was proof that God had not abandoned her.
“He showed me that he was fighting for me and for my unborn child,” she recalls.
She felt that she had come to “a fork in the road,” and that God was revealing to her the beauty that would come if she chose life. The realization, however, opened the floodgate of fears that haunted the thought of that path: How will I face my parents? What will my future be like with a child? Will I ever get married if I’m already a mom?
But, she says, even as she was overwhelmed by those familiar doubts, she knew that the victory had been won.
“I realized that all those things no longer mattered because I knew that God would walk with me and would hold my hand and give me the strength I needed the moment I needed it,” she says. Little did Hannah Rose realize at that moment how desperately she would come to lean on the promise of that grace.
The pregnancy was a turning point in her life. When she found out she was having a girl, she named her daughter “Lily,” which means "purity and innocence," as a symbol of her renewed purity in Christ. Her first child she named “Luke Shiloh,” which she says means “light and peace.”
“In choosing life for Lily, God restored my heart that was totally broken from my abortion,” Allen says. She knew, too, that she wanted to share her story in order to encourage other young women in crisis pregnancies.
“I started to have this passion ignited within me to be a voice for these unborn children,” she says.
On March 16, 2010, two days after her due date, she arrived at the hospital ready to deliver. It had been a normal pregnancy and an ultrasound just days before had revealed a healthy, full term baby. Contractions were coming steadily, but along with the pain was the joyful expectation of finally holding her daughter in her arms.
But moments later, in the delivery room, she was living a mother’s worst nightmare. What had begun as a routine check of the baby’s heart rate quickly escalated into a frantic search for the sound of a heartbeat.
An ultrasound machine was wheeled in, and Allen’s doctor stared silently at it for a moment before delivering the devastating news: “I’m so sorry. Her heart is no longer beating.”
“I just remember turning my head from side to side and saying no, no, no,” Allen recalls.
With the support of her family, Allen labored all day to push her child’s body out. Lily Katherine Allen-Ball was born that afternoon at 4:24 PM. She was seven pounds, nine ounces, and twenty one inches long.
The nurse wrapped Lily’s tiny body and placed it in the arms of her grieving mother. She was “perfect and beautiful,” Allen remembers.
“I literally remember myself perishing under the weight of this,” she says, “In that moment I knew that God was saying, ‘You have to depend on me.’”
That night, as Allen cradled her daughter’s body and cherished the few moments that she would have with her on this earth, she knew that Lily’s name had taken on a whole new meaning. It was a symbol not just of Allen’s renewed purity but of Lily’s purity, which would now remain forever untouched.
“It just blew me away to see how [God] cared so much about my daughter that He would reveal her name to me,” says Allen. “He fought for her life because He had a greater plan and purpose for her life than I could ever have imagined.”
That purpose, she believes, is only beginning to find fulfillment in her own efforts to reach out to other pregnant and post-abortive women by sharing her story. She now maintains a website, and has spoken at the March for Life and other pro-life events.
The message of Luke and Lily’s life, Allen believes, is that “if you choose life, no matter the outcome, you’ll have no regrets.”
She adds: “These aren’t empty words from someone who doesn’t understand and has never walked this road. I can say ‘I get it’ because I truly do. I’ve walked the road twice and I’ve chosen both ways, and I will forever regret my abortion, but I will never, ever regret choosing life.”
Through her contact with other post-abortive women, Allen has also learned that, contrary to what she was told by a Planned Parenthood employee, it’s “normal and it’s perfectly ok” to grieve for a child lost through abortion.
“It’s the forbidden grief,” Allen notes. “It’s easier to talk about Lily and her loss because a lot of people look down on me for being so open about my abortion. But I feel that I’m called to be a voice for Luke and for other aborted babies, and for the women that live in shame and silence and suffer for decades.”
“God loves Luke and has a plan for his life just as much as Lily’s,” she adds. “They will both forever be in my heart.”
Hannah Rose Allen can be reached at: [email protected].
Please, enough with the cult of pop stars. Our kids need real heroes.
April 29, 2016 (LifeSiteNews) – Two things happen each time a significant pop culture figure dies: Christians attempt to dredge up some moderately conservative or traditional thing that figure said at some point during his long career, and mainstream media attempts to convince a society thoroughly bored with such things that the person in question was a ground-breaking radical. The two most recent examples are the androgynous David Bowie—a cringe-worthy and possibly blasphemous video of him dropping to his knees during a rock performance and uttering the Lord’s Prayer circulated just following his death--and the pop star Prince.
I’ve had to suppress my gag reflexes many times as I saw my Facebook newsfeed fill up with memes sporting quotes from Prince about his faith and articles announcing that the musician who “embraced gender fluidity before his time,” according to Slate and “will always be a gay icon” according to The Atlantic, was against gay marriage. Sure, maybe he was. But only a Christian community so shell-shocked by the rapid spread of the rainbow blitzkrieg and the catastrophic erosion of religious liberty would find this remarkable. After all, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton said the same thing barely one election cycle ago. As one obituary celebrating Prince’s paradigm-smashing sexual performances written by Dodai Stewart put it:
Dig, if you will, a picture: The year is 1980. Many states still have sodomy laws. The radio is playing feel-good ear candy like Captain and Tennille and KC and the Sunshine Band. TV hits include the sunny, toothy blond shows Three’s Company and Happy Days. There’s no real word for “gender non-conforming.” But here’s what you see: A man. Clearly a man. Hairy, mostly naked body…a satiny bikini bottom. But those eyes. Rimmed in black, like a fantasy belly dancer. The full, pouty lips of a pin-up girl. Long hair. A tiny, svelte thing. Ethnically ambiguous, radiating lust. What is this? A man. Clearly a man. No. Not just a man. A Prince.
Right. So let’s not get too carried away, shall we? I know Christians are desperate to justify their addictions to the pop culture trash that did so much to sweep away Christian values in the first place and I know that latching on to the occasional stray conservative belief that may manifest itself in pop culture figures makes many feel as if perhaps we are not so weird and countercultural, but this bad habit we have of claiming these figures upon their passing is downright damaging.
After all, parents should be teaching their children about real heroes, titans of the faith who changed the world. Heroes of the early church who stood down tyrants, halted gladiatorial combat, and crusaded against injustice in a world where death was all the rage. These men and women were real rebels who stood for real values. If we want to point our children to people they should emulate, we should be handing them books like Seven Men: And the Secret of Their Greatness by the brilliant writer Eric Metaxas rather than the pop albums Purple Rain or Lovesexy by Prince. If parents spend their time glorifying the predecessors of Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus instead of highlighting heroes like William Wilberforce, they can hardly be surprised when their children choose to emulate the former rather than the latter.
The mainstream media’s adulation of these pop stars is equally irritating. The unspoken truth of these obituaries is that the flamboyant antics of Prince and the rest of the so-called rebellious drag queens populating the rock n’ roll scene have been mainstream for a long time already. Want to see dozens of bizarre body piercings? Weird hairdos? Purple mohawks? Dudes with nail polish? Strange tattoos? Easy. Just go onto any university campus, or any public high school without a dress code. With headphones wedged firmly in their ear canals, they can pump the cleverly commercialized “counterculture” straight into their skulls 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
More than that, some of these courageous rebels have actually sued their employers to ensure that they can let their establishment-smashing freak flag fly at work, too. An Edmonton woman with 22 visible body piercings complained that her employer was unfair because apparently she was being discriminated against “based on body modifications.” Yeah! The Man must be told, after all. And if he doesn’t agree, we will lawyer up. I wonder what the shrieking rebels of the early days would think about the snivelling children of the current grievance culture.
So these days, the media’s eulogizing about aging culture warriors who went mainstream a long time ago rings a bit hollow. After all, most rock n’ roll stars these days look tame compared to what shows up in the children’s section at Pride Week. Freaky is normal now. Normal is radical. Welcome to 2016.
When Christians are posting nostalgic tributes to the rebels who helped inoculate their children against the radical views of Christianity in the first place, you know that the victories of the counterculture are complete and Stockholm syndrome has set in.
Target boycott climbs to over 1 million
April 29, 2016 (LifeSiteNews) – Over 1 million people have signed a pledge to boycott Target over its new policy allowing men to access women’s bathrooms.
The American Family Association’s Boycott Target petition gained traction immediately, reaching the one million mark in only nine days.
“Corporate America must stop bullying people who disagree with the radical left agenda to remake society into their progressive image,” said AFA President Tim Wildmon. “#BoycottTarget has resonated with Americans. Target’s harmful policy poses a danger to women and children; nearly everyone has a mother, wife, daughter or friend who is put in jeopardy by this policy. Predators and voyeurs would take advantage of the policy to prey on those who are vulnerable. And it’s clear now that over one million customers agree.”
Target defended its policy in a statement saying that it believes everyone “deserves to be protected from discrimination, and treated equally” and earlier this week, a Target spokeswoman defended the policy as “inclusive.”
The AFA said that unisex bathrooms are a common-sense alternative to allowing men unfettered access to women’s bathrooms.
“Target should keep separate facilities for men and women, but for the trans community and for those who simply like using the bathroom alone, a single occupancy unisex option should be provided,” the petition says.
The AFA warned that Target’s new policy benefits sexual predators and poses a danger to women and children.
“With Target publicly boasting that men can enter women's bathrooms, where do you think predators are going to go?” the petition asked.
There have been numerous instances of predatory men accessing women’s bathrooms and intimate facilities in the wake of “transgender” bathroom policies allowing them to do so.
“We want to make it very clear that AFA does not believe the transgender community poses this danger to the wider public,” said Wildmon. “Rather, this misguided and reckless policy provides a possible gateway for predators who are out there.”
Amazing new video captures the flash of light the moment life begins
CHICAGO, April 29, 2016 (LifeSiteNews) – Life begins with a spark – literally.
Researchers at Northwestern University have documented the striking event in a new video that accompanies a study published this week.
At the moment of conception, the egg releases massive amounts of zinc, which creates a spark that can be seen with the aid of a microscope.
“It was remarkable,” said Teresa Woodruff, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University's medical school. “To see the zinc radiate out in a burst from each human egg was breathtaking.”
The research team had noted the zinc sparks before in mice eggs but had never observed the process in human beings.
“All of biology starts at the time of fertilization,” Woodruff said, “yet we know next to nothing about the events that occur in the human.”
One of the researchers, Northwestern chemistry professor Thomas O'Halloran, explained the science behind the process in 2014.
“The egg first has to stockpile zinc and then must release some of the zinc to successfully navigate maturation, fertilization and the start of embryogenesis,” he said. “On cue, at the time of fertilization, we see the egg release thousands of packages, each dumping a million zinc atoms, and then it's quiet.”
“Each egg has four or five of these periodic sparks,” O'Halloran said. “It is beautiful to see, orchestrated much like a symphony.”
Since the amount of zinc in an egg correlates with successful implantation and birth, the Northwestern researchers are highlighting that their research may be used to assist in vitro fertilization.
But that raises concerns given the grave moral issues with IVF, which involves creating numerous embryos that are either killed or frozen. Moral theologians also emphasize that IVF is an injustice even for the children who are born as a result, as they are created in a lab rather than in the union of man and woman.
The study may have far-reaching consequences the research team did not intend, such as strengthening public belief in the longstanding scientific consensus that life begins at the moment of conception/fertilization.
Many of those who saw the Northwestern video said it testifies to the beauty of life and the shallow lies that buttress the argument of abortion-on-demand.
“I saw this, and I was blown away by it,” said Rush Limbaugh on his nationally syndicated radio program Thursday afternoon. “For anybody in the mainstream media to openly admit that life begins at conception” defies arguments that an unborn child is only “tissue mass.”
Researchers released a separate video of the zinc spark taking place in a mammalian egg more than a year ago:
The paper, which is entitled “The Zinc Spark is an Inorganic Signature of Human Egg Activation,” was published by Scientific Reports on April 26.