Note: This is the prepared text of Lia Mill’s speech to the National Pro-Life Conference in Ottawa at the end of October.
(LifeSiteNews.com) – In grade 7, I had a school speech project, where I was supposed to write a speech about a topic of interest. I wasn’t sure what to do at first, but then I felt God encouraging me to do the topic of abortion. At the time, I had almost no idea what abortion was. I knew a little bit about it, but I had no motivation, other than God telling me, to do that topic. I knew that abortion was wrong, but that was about it. Regardless, I went with it.
Initially, my teacher and many other people tried to help me choose another topic, they though it was “too big, too mature, and too controversial”. I though about changing my topic and my mom even helped me find books on other topics, but something inside me told me I needed to stay with the topic of abortion. So, I stuck with it and continued working on my speech.
There was a contest attached to the speech project. Being a fairly competitive person, I wanted to be a part of it. But, I was told that if I did the topic of abortion, I would present in front of the class but would automatically be eliminated from the contest. After more praying and thinking, I decided to give up my chances in the contest and continue writing my speech. When I eventually presented it in front of my class, my teacher decided that my speech was very well written, and she wanted to recommend that I represent our class in the speech contest. This was pretty incredible, especially since she was pro-abortion in her convictions. She had me present my speech in front of two other teachers, who agreed that I should represent my class in the school level.
Long story short, last minute, my teacher asked me to remove the one sentence in my speech that made reference to God. I was naturally upset, but after a night of tears and prayer, I went to school, and sadly told my teacher that I couldn’t take that sentence out and that I would withdraw form the contest. My teacher decided to let me continue anyways. There was some opposition to my involvement in the contest and one of the judges stepped down – refusing to listen to my speech, but in the end, I was declared the winner for the school.
Throughout this time, my parents and I had been working on recording my video so that we could post it on YouTube; my mom wanted all of her friends to see it. During this part of the journey, I really developed an appreciation for the work that any pro-life organization does, because there is so much back-lash and opposition. When we first posted the video, which you can find on YouTube by searching “Lia Mills”, there were hundreds of comments posted with the intent of scaring me and threatening my faith, my family and my life. The opposition was extremely intense, but so was the support.
What I realize now, is that when I made the decision to speak on abortion, it wasn’t just a decision to do a speech. It was a decision to step into a spiritual battle, a battle that I wasn’t aware of in the least and a battle that was growing in intensity. At the time I started writing my speech, Obama had just assumed responsibility as President of the United States. Now, my family has never been too involved in politics in Canada, never mind the US. Although we were aware of the inauguration and Obama becoming president, what we weren’t aware of was that Obama is the most pro-abortion president ever. We didn’t know anything about the huge controversy and conflict that was happening down in the States because of Obama’s views. So when my video was posted on YouTube, me, and my family, were thrown into a huge conflict.
You know you’re striking the heart of the battle, the heart of the issue, when the opposition against you is intense, and yet the support behind you is also intense. And that really sums up exactly what happened the days following the first posting of my video.
I think that, as Canadians, we tend to be the peacemakers and people pleasers. We try to avoid conflict, regarding it as a negative thing, rather than something that will help us grow and mature. So we spend our lives trying to make people happy, not ruffle any feathers, and live our lives in peace. At school, what is taught should be accepted as truth, no arguing, and no conflict what-so-ever. Even as children, although conflict does happen, we learn to almost be afraid of it. We learn to do what we’re told and when we don’t, we are labelled as being “rebellious”.
But the truth is that, as pro-lifers, even if we’re Canadians, we have to learn not to avoid conflict, but to embrace it and approach it in the right way. Instead of arguing and only trying to prove a point, we have to respond, not in a superior way, but by speaking the truth. If we respond in anger or out of frustration, this doesn’t help the conflict in any way. In fact, it does the opposite of what we want.
For the last little while, I’ve been working on a series of short videos that address common arguments that are thrown at me and questions that people have. The main reason we’ve been working on these, is because there are people our there who have real questions and who are really looking for truth, and I’m hoping that the videos will help them in some way.
I still don’t know why God chose me to do what I did, but I’m learning, ever so slowly, to try and embrace conflict, to try to realize that some things will only change as I become willing to stand in opposition to the status quo, as I become willing to see beyond my need for pace and safety and learn to step out of the boat and make some waves.
Since I have this opportunity to speak before you now, let me share with you what I’ve learned about engaging in the conflict surrounding the issue of life. I hope that in some way what I say encourage and inspire you and maybe equip you for the battle we’re in. The 5 things I’d like to share with you today are 1: Stick to the key issue, 2: Ask questions, 3: Be able to say “I don’t know”, 4: Speak the truth in love, and 5: Know your enemy.
One, stick to the key issue. With the issue of abortion, it’s easy to get sidetracked. When speaking about the issue, if the topic is on whether abortion should be legal, people will often immediately jump to extreme cases, like rape or incest, or they start talking about the importance of choice. If you take the bait, you’ll start trying to show how rare those extreme cases are or you’ll start arguing about the fact that “choice” should come before intercourse – which will lead to discussions about birth-control and abstinence.
The heart of the conflict within the issue of abortion is whether or not the unborn are human. I believe that one reason why people in support of abortion avoid the heart of the conflict is because they know that if the unborn are human, then abortion is wrong, and there’s no denying it. Whenever I’m in a situation like that, I always try to bring it back to the main question, which is: “are the unborn human”?
Two, ask questions. The best way to make a person think is to ask a question. So if they make a point, question it. “Well, how did you come to that conclusion”, or “Why do you think that”? Not only odes this cause the other person to think, but it keeps you actively listening to what they’re saying and we avoid the problem of focusing on what we’re going to say next. Your friend would be expecting you to try and make a counter-argument. By asking questions, you show them that you’re listening, but you also stick to the main conflict at hand and avoid unnecessary conflicts. You avoid all conflicts that arise from simply throwing arguments back and forth and instead, you focus on the conflict at hand.
Three, don’t be afraid of saying “I don’t know”. I find, even in myself, the temptation to always want to be right. So when we don’t have an answer to someone’s question, we tend to either panic, ignore the question or give a wrong response and we often become self-defensive. None of these responses are helpful. Simply saying “That’s a good question, I don’t know the answer” is probably the best response. It’s encouraging to the other person when they aren’t talking to someone who’s just listing off answers.
Most times, people aren’t arguing as much as they’re looking for truth. And that’s exactly what we have to offer. But if you’re just arguing with someone, they won’t see the truth behind the anger and ignorance masking your words. That’s why it’s important to show them the truth, but also show them in a loving way, not being afraid of not having all the answers. While we want to boldly face the conflict surrounding the issue of abortion, we want to avoid internal conflicts caused by our fear of not knowing something. Humility will keep us from looking down on others.
When you’re faced with a question you don’t know the answer to, ask God for help. I think often we don’t like being wrong because what we believe as being truth is being threatened. Perhaps we think that if we don’t know the answer, that means that maybe, what we believe as truth might be wrong. So simply saying, “Okay God, I know that this is true, for example, I know it’s wrong to kill the unborn, but I’m confused. If you want to help me understand why this is truth, that would be great, but I’m still going to believe that this is the truth because I trust you more than my ability to understand.”
Four, speak the truth in love. I find that, at least to me, one of the biggest reasons why people don’t listen on the issue of abortion is because they feel judged. If you’re talking to a friend who’s had past experience with abortion, it won’t help them if you say something like “You should have considered everything before you had sex”. That’s true, but it’s not loving in that circumstance.
It’s only going to hurt your friend, which will probably cause her to lash out at you because of her pain. And then you’ll lash out at them, and it’s just a continuous cycle, where the truth never gets understood because of the way it’s communicated. One of the things that breaks my heart is when I see pro-life people leaving comments on my videos that are full of hatred, anger and condemnation.
If we speak the truth in love, we keep the conflict where it needs to be, allowing people to collide with the truth in a safe way. If we don’t speak in love, we cause them to collide with us and, once again, we produce unnecessary conflict. It’s extremely important to show love to people, especially if they’ve had past experience with abortion. If they’re shown kindness continually, and they feel safe talking to you, you’ll be able to show them the truth, and help them, instead of hurt them.
Five, make sure you know your enemies. As it says in the bible, “Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of darkness”. We aren’t fighting a conflict with people; we’re fighting this conflict against Satan. When I made the decision to do the topic of abortion, I was thrust into this conflict, and had people attacking me and my family. But one of the things I always try to remember when I speak to people about this issue is that I’m not fighting against them; I keep my eyes on my true enemy. And I remember I’m not fighting for myself; I’m fighting for the kingdom of heaven and the lives of the unborn. And then that reminds me that I don’t need to depend on my own strength, because I have big Daddy God to back me up.
When fighting in this battle, we always have to remember to get our strength from Him. We definitely don’t have enough strength on our own. This is so important, no matter where you are positioned in the conflict – whether on the front lines or in prayer, or whatever. We need to stay spiritually strong, because although Satan’s using people to fight against us, he’s also trying to get our eyes off of God and onto the chaos around us. Once we let Satan distract us, we start losing the battle. If we take our eyes off God, we start trying to win the battle on our own. And that’s exactly how we lose.
I know these all seem like big words coming form a very little person, but we’re all little compared to God. God’s not looking at how big we are, or how smart we are or how popular we are. He’s just looking at how willing we are.
It’s often said and believed that God will never give us a problem that’s too big for us to handle. But my youth pastor took that and he dared to disagree. He said “No! God always gives us a problem that’s way way to big for us to handle, but not to big for us to handle together with Him.”
So here we are, with this, massively huge conflict and battle laying before us, but an even bigger God behind us, backing us up and watching over us. As someone wiser than me once said “All it takes for evil to prevail, is for good men to do nothing.” In this conflict, let’s not be guilty of doing nothing. Stay strong, and do what you can; every little thing counts.
Thank you!