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1. Light travels faster than sound.
   This is why some people appear bright
   until you hear them speak.

  2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

  3. Those who live by the sword
    get shot by those who don’t.

  4. Nothing is foolproof
    to a sufficiently talented fool.

  5. The 50-50-90 rule:
    Anytime you have a 50-50 chance
    of getting something right,
    there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

  6. The things that come to those who wait
    will be the things left by those who got there first.

  7. The shin bone is a device
    for finding furniture in a dark room.

  8. A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
    A tax is a fine for doing well.

  9. When you go into court, 
    you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people 
    who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.