NEW YORK, NEW YORK, March 12, 2012, (LifeSiteNews.com) – American Idol judge Steve Tyler and his then-girlfriend still regret her abortion. So does former Britney Spears backup singer Kelly Clinger. So do millions of other famous and anonymous women across the country and around the world.
Not Amanda Chatel, a self-described “selfish” New York-based freelance writer. In an online article posted on the website The Gloss on Friday, she claimed she had an abortion in 2005, calling it “the best decision of my life” and writing that she prefers the companionship of her Jack Russell terrier to motherhood.
Chatel left her “very liberal” family and moved to New York City to become a writer. “I wanted a life that sparkled,” she told the New York Post. Within months, she was pregnant but could not believe her diagnosis, because she “drank too much, smoked too many cigarettes, too much pot and had also dabbled in a few other recreational items.”
Despite her fiercely “pro-choice” upbringing and her resolute decision to abort her child – supported by the baby’s father – she began to feel differently about herself. “I was all of a sudden dirty. I was a slut. I was disgusting,” she wrote.
The idea that she was “carrying something unwanted, unloved and a burden to my life and my future” wore her down. “I hated myself for thinking something that was part of me was so repulsive,” she wrote.
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She proceeded to research what 10-week-old babies looked like, “torturing” herself by asking, “Did it have hands? Did it have eyes?”
“The nights leading up to my abortion, I’d lay in my bed with my hands on my stomach apologizing” and calling her unborn child by name. Still, she never saw her baby as more than “just cells.”
She claims she had an abortion on Holy Saturday 2005, adding her mother could not be with her because she could not “explain to my Catholic grandmother that Easter is canceled because my mom needs to run to NYC for her daughter’s abortion.”
How does she feel now?
“My abortion is something that never really crosses my mind at all, and in the brief moments that it does, I feel almost guilty that I don’t feel guilty about the decision I made seven years ago,” Chatel writes.
If she had become a mother, she states she would have missed out on other life experiences, like being in a cafe in Paris suffering “a necessary and deliciously inspiring heartbreak.” She would not “write for The Gloss or live in NYC or have my Hubbell.”
Hubbell, her Jack Russell terrier, was a gift from her parents in the wake of her abortion.
“Hubbell is my baby,” she wrote. “Hubbell is the age my child would be this year had I not had my abortion.” She tattooed his name on her arm “as a reminder that sometimes the most difficult decisions end up being the best.”
“My sister, who’s two years younger, is married and has two kids,” she said. “I just look at her life, and it’s really my worst nightmare.”
Reflecting on her abortion, she wrote last Friday, “It was not a decision I wanted to make, but hell, it was the best decision of my life…I would not have it any other way.”
At least one detail of her story is out of place. Amanda claimed the date of her abortion, March 27, is “ingrained in my memory no matter what I try to do about it,” adding it “was the Saturday of Easter weekend.” But March 27, 2005, was Easter Sunday.
If authentic, her remorseless reaction would represent an additional deviation from the norm. Last September, the largest meta-analysis of abortion data, involving more than 877,000 women, discovered abortion led to a 155 greater risk of attempted suicide, as well as greater substance abuse and depression. A 2009 study in New Zealand found 85 percent of post-abortive women suffered a negative emotional consequence as a result of their abortion.