Leslie Hairfield

The truth set me free from my two abortions

Leslie Hairfield
By Leslie Hairfield
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December 13, 2012 (Bound4Life.com) - “It’s not a life.” “It’s not a baby.” “It’s just an embryo.” “It’s not murder.” “Your life will never be the same.” “You are too young.” “You will ruin your bright future if you have this baby.” “It’s okay. It’s really not a big deal.” “I’ve had an abortion before and I am fine.” “It’s your body; it’s your choice.” “We can’t do this.” “I’m not ready.”

I could go on and on with what I have heard and what has even come from my own lips. Today I confess, I was deceived; I was wrong. Truth began to interrupt my life early in 2010. Everything I had thought and believed to be true regarding abortion and the value of a human life was shattered.

What brought me to my breaking point in 2010 ultimately began in the spring of 2008. My life was forever changed when I met a man named Jesus Christ. I surrendered my life into His hands, and left in my wake years of treacherous decisions and sins committed against God, myself and so many others. I was for many years an alcoholic, a drug user, a drug dealer, a lover of money, a lover of self, and a lover of the pleasures of the world.

At my salvation, the Lord opened my eyes to see the vanity of my pursuits, and the worthiness of pursuing Him. I fell in love with Him and His Word. My life got turned upside-down. Everything I ever believed was challenged as I read the Bible. My life was transformed day after day, as truth washed over my heart and mind.

In 2010, I began going to the Richmond International House of Prayer. The people I met there were deeply in love with Jesus, prayer and worship. I made some amazing friends and found myself spending all of my free time there. I agreed with everything they were about, except for one issue: abortion.

At RIHOP, they were passionate to pray for the unborn, the parents of the unborn, abortion centers and their staff. They prayed with such conviction and concern, it disturbed me. What I believed to be their deception was not enough to keep me from coming every week.

I could not bring myself to believe what they were saying because it was hitting something hidden deep within my heart; things that I had locked away many years before. I had two abortions at the ages of 18 and 21. I had also justified, convinced, and encouraged many others to have abortions, and even drove a friend out of state to receive an abortion because she was a minor.

Each time I had an abortion or helped another person to, I was firmly convinced I was right, and I was a good person. In the pit of my deception, I still felt the need to hide what I had done never to remember it again. These “wrong” intercessors, with their passionate prayers for the unborn, had no idea they were rattling chains hidden deep within my heart every time they prayed.

I asked the Lord to show me His heart for the unborn, if He had one. I wanted to know what He thought about the whole abortion issue. Soon my eyes and heart slowly began to open. I began seeing people wearing red wristbands with the words LIFE everywhere! Every time I saw the bumper sticker “Cure Abortion” on my best friend’s car, it became less offensive. As the weeks progressed, I could not stop wrestling over the issue. I started to think that I might be wrong.

The truth was there all along, written in His word. I was so hardened to believing it because of the stronghold of lies I had built over the years. One day while reading Psalm 139, I broke and the floodgate of tears began. Suddenly the Holy Spirit removed the veil, and I knew that every word written was true.

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance being yet unformed; and in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me when as yet there were none of them. PSALM 139:13-17

Coming to an understanding of the Lord’s heart for the unborn was the beginning of a journey marked with pain, shame, repentance, healing and freedom. I knew that I could not stand before our holy God and justify abortion on any level, nor did I want to. A baby was no less a son or a daughter to Him, whether one day conceived or one day born from their mother’s womb. I could no longer ignore my past, but had to face the horror of it. I was struck with the reality that I was a murderer. I had not simply fixed a little problem, I had ended numerous human lives from ever living this side of eternity.

I went through a time where the father of lies himself tried to crush me with the weight of my sin. I beat myself up and felt that I could tell no one of what I had done. I was burdened with heavy grief and shame, but instead of running away from and ignoring my pain as I had always done in the past, this time I ran to the Lord.

My heart was truly repentant of what I had done, yet for a time I could not fully accept the Lord’s forgiveness. In the midst of the enemy’s lies, our Father in heaven had much to say to me about who I was in His eyes. I was washed in the blood of His Son. My sins were forgiven. He did not condemn me and I must not condemn myself.

Jesus said to her, neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more. JOHN 8:11

Over time, I was able to fully open my heart to the Lord. These dark areas I had hidden away for so many years were in desperate need of His love and healing. I knew that however painful the process might be, it was necessary and He could be trusted. I will always remember this one Friday night service at the Fredericksburg Prayer Furnace. While worshiping the Lord, I heard Him speak to me, “You are not a murderer, you are My daughter in whom I am well pleased.” The truth went from my head to my heart, and finally I was able to believe it.

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On the latter end of this painful journey, I have experienced the love of our Father and the magnitude of Christ’s sacrifice like never before. I share this testimony in all humility, knowing I once was wrong and influenced the decisions of many people to have abortions. I pray they are able to forgive me. The Lord has burdened me to share my testimony, His heart for the unborn, and His heart for those that have had abortions. I know the same healing and freedom the Lord has granted me, He wants to bring to every other heart that is placed in His hands. The same truth He has gripped my heart with, He wants to grip yours with too. The blood of Jesus was poured out to atone for the sins of the world; not a select few people, and not a select few sins. The degree of our sins is irrelevant when covered in the blood of Jesus.

In searching out God’s heart for why He cares so deeply for these babies, and standing in prayer for the unborn, God has allowed me to see some of what He sees and feel some of what He feels. During my internship at IHOPKC, there were moments when God would put His heart inside of mine. These nights of prayer when the Lord revealed to me the depths of His heart have marked my life forever. The Lord also has me on a journey of discovering more of His heart for the unborn through dreams.

Not one person ever shared with me God’s heart for me or my unborn babies. I never knew of Jesus, or heard the gospel until He revealed Himself to me when I was 23 years old. Growing up, I never heard about the injustice of abortion. It was marketed as something good, and still is. I never heard about purity. All of my friends and classmates were sexually active beginning in their early teens. There is a famine in our nation of what is on the Lord’s heart and what truth really is. What is evil is declared as something good, and what is good is made to look evil! In this scarcity of truth and abundance of deception, a generation is perishing.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge… HOSEA 4:6

I can no longer keep this testimony hidden in unwarranted shame. I have held my mouth closed for far too long. There is so much God wants to say about the issue of abortion, and so much He wants to say to those who have been affected by them. He is looking for messengers willing to trumpet unpopular and even offensive messages. He is looking for messengers willing to declare His heart and truth, regardless of what others might say or think. Lives depend upon the hearing of truth. Will you be that voice?

Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die.  PROVERBS 31:8

Leslie and her husband Adam are full time missionaries at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. They work with the Life Initiatives team there. Their son Isaiah will be 6 months old on December 21. He is a living and joyful reminder to his parents and everyone around him to the value of LIFE. You can read their blog and visit their web page here.

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The first pro-abortion Republican enters the 2016 presidential race

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By Ben Johnson

EXETER, NH, May 28, 2015 (LifeSiteNews.com) – The large and expanding field of would-be Republican presidential candidates grew by one today, as George Pataki became the first GOP presidential hopeful this election season to openly support abortion-on-demand.

The 69-year-old long-shot candidate also has a history of supporting homosexual legislative causes.

In the weeks leading up to his formal announcement, George Pataki took out TV ads asking Republicans to refrain from talking about abortion and gay “marriage,” branding them “distractions.”

“In 12 years [as governor], I don’t think I talked about that issue twice,” he once said of abortion.

On same-sex “marriage,” he says, “I think, leave it to the states. I don’t think it’s a role in Washington.”

However, Pataki has a long history of enacting the homosexual political agenda as governor of New York from 1994-2006. He signed a “hate crimes” law that added the words “gay” and “lesbian” to New York state law for the first time.

He signed the Sexual Orientation Nondiscrimination Act (SONDA), which prohibits business owners from “discriminating” against homosexuals in housing or hiring, with an exemption only for religious institutions.

He also added sexual orientation to state civil rights laws, alongside such immutable characteristics as race and sex, in an apparent quid pro quo for a gay activist group's endorsement in his last run for governor. The New York Times reported that, under pressure from Pataki, then then-Senate Majority Leader “shifted his position on the bill as part of what is tacitly acknowledged, even by Senator [Joseph] Bruno's senior aides, to have been a deal to win an endorsement for Governor Pataki from the state's largest gay rights group, the Empire State Pride Agenda.”

After the LGBT activist group endorsed Pataki in 2002, citing a long list of his service to the homosexual political cause, Pataki personally lobbied senators for the bill's passage, then signed it into law that December.

Coupled with his stance on gun control, environmentalism, and other issues, he stands well to the left of the Republican mainstream.

The three-term governor of New York, who belongs to the Roman Catholic Church, took his own advice by largely avoiding social issues today. The closest he came was his vow, “I'd repeal oppressive laws like ObamaCare and end Common Core.”

He added that he would “fire every current IRS employee abusing government power to discriminate on the basis of politics or religion. That is not America!”

Otherwise, Pataki's announcement speech hewed to stand pat Republican issues like reducing taxes, shrinking the number of federal employees, increasing military spending, and supporting entrepreneurship.

He began by thanking his supporters, in English and Spanish.

Smiling, his head pivoting between twin teleprompters, he said, “Let me tell you some of the things I'd do right away to get oppressive government off the backs of Americans.”

He would institute a lifetime ban on congressmen acting as lobbyists after they leave office. “If you ever served one day in Congress, you will never be a lobbyist,” he said. He favors forcing Congress to live under the laws it passes, so there will be “no special rules for the powerful.”

He cited his history of cutting taxes, reducing welfare rolls, and leaving his state with billions of dollars in surplus. “That's what our policies can do,” he said. “I know we can do the same thing for the United States.”

In recent weeks, he has called for a more interventionist foreign policy in the Middle East. Today, he reminded his audience that he was governor of New York in 9/11. “I will not fear the lesson of September 11,” he said. “To protect us, first we must protect the border,” he said – an unexpected phrase, as Pataki supports amnesty for the at least 11 million illegal immigrants already in the United States.

“We will stand with our ally, Israel, a democracy on the front lines of terror and barbarism,” he said.

Like former Sen. Rick Santorum, who announced he is running for president yesterday, Pataki agreed that “if necessary, American forces will be used to actually defeat and destroy ISIS on the ground – although he promised not to become “the world's policeman.”

Some of his campaign promises drew skepticism, such as seeking to develop self-driving cars and to cure Alzheimer's disease and cancer within the next decade.

The speech's venue was chosen deliberately by Pataki, who considered entering the presidential race in 2000, 2008, and 2012. The town of Exeter, New Hampshire, claims to be the founding place of the Republican Party. (Ripon, Wisconsin, makes a similar claim.)

More importantly, the first-in-the-nation primary skews more libertarian on social issues than evangelical-dominated Iowa and South Carolina, so Pataki has essentially staked his candidacy on doing well in New Hampshire. Fellow pro-abortion Republican Rudy Giuliani made a similar bet in 2008, banking on a good showing among transplanted New Yorkers in the Florida primary. He left the race after finishing a distant third.

Short of a stunning upset in the Granite State, Pataki has little chance of breaking through the pack this year. A Fox News poll ranks him dead last among 16 announced and potential candidates. Holly Bailey of Yahoo! News said, “George Pataki would never say this, but you do have to wonder if he's sort of, maybe, gaming for vice president.”

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Pataki is not the first “pro-choice” Republican to run for president.  Giuliani (who supported partial birth abortion) and Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore (another potential 2016 candidate, who supports abortion during the first trimester) ran in 2008. Twelve years earlier, both California Gov. Pete Wilson and Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter supported abortion-on-demand. Arlen Specter later left the party and became a Democrat.

In 1988, General Alexander Haig opposed a human life amendment to the U.S. Constitution. So did Texas Gov. John Connally in 1980.

George H.W. Bush supported abortion and voted for Planned Parenthood funding early in his career but changed his position by the time he ran for president the second time, in 1988.

President Gerald Ford was the last Republican nominee to proclaim himself “pro-choice.” 

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Ireland ‘defied God’ by voting for gay ‘marriage’: Cardinal Burke

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By Pete Baklinski

OXFORD, May 28, 2015 (LifeSiteNews.com) -- Cardinal Raymond Burke lamented how formerly Catholic Ireland has gone further than the pagans in the pre-Christian days of old and “defied God” by calling homosexual behavior “marriage” in the referendum last week.

“I mean, this is a defiance of God. It’s just incredible. Pagans may have tolerated homosexual behaviours, they never dared to say this was marriage,” he told the Newman Society, Oxford University’s Catholic organization, in an address Wednesday about the intellectual heritage of Pope Benedict XVI. The Tablet, Britain’s liberal Catholic newspaper, reported his remarks.

On Friday, 1.2 million Irish people voted to amend the country’s constitution to say: “Marriage may be contracted in accordance with law by two persons without distinction as to their sex.” A little over 734,000 people voted against the proposal. 

Burke said that he could not understand “any nation redefining marriage.”

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The cardinal also emphasized the important role that parents play in protecting their children in a culture increasingly hostile to God’s laws. “The culture is thoroughly corrupted, if I may say so, and the children are being exposed to this, especially through the internet,” he said. One practical piece of advice that he offered families was to put computers in public areas to prevent children from “imbib[ing] this poison that’s out there.”

During the same Oxford visit, but during a homily at a Mass the day before, Burke called marriage between a man and woman a “fundamental truth” that has been “ignored, defied, and violated.”

Burke warned during the homily of the dangers of “various ideological currents” and of “human deception and trickery which strives to lead us into error.”

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Why young Christians can’t grasp our arguments against gay ‘marriage’

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By John Stonestreet

May 28, 2015 (BreakPoint.org) -- For five years, Dr. Abigail Rine has been teaching a course on gender theory at George Fox University, an evangelical school in the Quaker tradition.

At the beginning of the semester, she tells her students that “they are guaranteed to read something they will find disagreeable, probably even offensive.”

Writing at FirstThings.com recently, she related how five years ago it was easy to find readings that challenged and even offended the evangelical college students “considering the secular bent of contemporary gender studies.”

But today, things are different. “Students now,” she says, “arrive in my class thoroughly versed in the language and categories of identity politics; they are reticent to disagree with anything for fear of seeming intolerant—except, of course, what they perceive to be intolerant.”

And what do they find “intolerant”? Well, in her class, an essay entitled “What is Marriage?” by Sherif Girgis, Robert George, and Ryan Anderson, which was the beginning of the book “What Is Marriage?: Man and Woman: A Defense.”

In their article, Girgis, George, and Anderson defend what they call the conjugal view of marriage. “Marriage,” they write, “is the union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to each other … that is naturally fulfilled by bearing and rearing children together.” They defend this view against what they call the “revisionist view” of marriage, which redefines marriage to include, among other things, same-sex couples.

“My students hate it,” Dr. Rine wrote. They “lambast the article.” “They also,” she adds, “seem unable to fully understand the argument.” And again, these are evangelical students at an evangelical school.

The only argument for conjugal marriage they’ve ever encountered has been the wooden proof-texting from the Bible. And besides, wrote Rine, “What the article names as a ‘revisionist’ idea of marriage—marriage as an emotional, romantic, sexual bond between two people—does not seem ‘new’ to my students at all, because this is the view of marriage they were raised with, albeit with a scriptural, heterosexual gloss.”

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As Rine points out “the redefinition of marriage began decades ago” when “the link between sexuality and procreation was severed in our cultural imagination.”

And if marriage “has only an arbitrary relationship to reproduction,” then it seems mean-spirited to Rine’s students to argue that marriage by its very nature excludes same-sex couples.

And where do students get the idea that marriage “has only an arbitrary relationship to reproduction”? Well, everywhere—television, church, school, their homes, in youth groups.

Rine writes, “As I consider my own upbringing and the various ‘sex talks’ I encountered in evangelical church settings over the past twenty years, I realize that the view of marital sex presented there was primarily revisionist.”

In other words, once you say, “I do,” you get “the gift” of sex which is presented as “a ‘gift’ largely due to its [erotic], unitive properties, rather than its intrinsic capacity to create life.” Even in the Church, children have become an optional add-on to married life rather than its primary purpose.

What can we do to win back our children, our churches, and the culture? In our recent book “Same Sex Marriage,” Sean McDowell and I lay out a game plan. We offer strategies for the short-term and the long-term, with the ultimate goal: re-shaping the cultural imagination towards what God intended marriage to be, starting with the church. Come to BreakPoint.org to pick up your copy.

As Chuck Colson once said in a BreakPoint commentary about marriage, “We Christians are very good at saying ‘No.’ But we’ve got to get better at saying ‘Yes’: showing how God’s plan for humanity is a blessing. That His ways, including faithful, life-giving marriage between one man and one woman, lead to human flourishing physically, emotionally, and spiritually.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Reprinted with permission from Break Point.

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