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May 3, 2018 (CatholicCulture.org) – So you want to be a respected Catholic journalist? You want to be invited to all the right conferences and symposia? Beginning tomorrow, try these simple steps.

  • Wake up, shower, have a good cup of coffee, and jump on Twitter.
  • Begin the day by denouncing any criticism of Pope Francis. (You'll want these tweets posted early in the morning, East Coast time—right about when Vatican officials break for lunch.)
  • Next, denounce anyone who has dared to disagree with your analyses of Vatican statements.
  • Don't just disagree; impugn the integrity of your adversaries. Question their motivations.
  • Accuse them of calumny, blasphemy, and schism.
  • Demand retractions. Threaten lawsuits.
  • Then, to close out a busy day, deliver a magisterial lecture on how Catholic commentators must learn to disagree politely.

Published with permission from CatholicCulture.org.

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