(LifeSiteNews) –– There are those who will tell you that allowing the killing of the suffering and dying, at their request, is a way of respecting their dignity as human beings. Well, that is one great big lie.
My brother Seamus died a few months ago from the complications of colon cancer and while his death appeared imminent several times during his last week of life, he was not quite ready to give up.
I have watched this before, more times than I want to count, with my very close family members and had to lament every little downward spiral. Those who have walked this road with a beloved one will recognize what I mean very well. The hardest part of watching a loved one dying is that very watching: standing or sitting by a bedside knowing that you are not able to do anything that seems of real importance, except to be there. However, being there is the greatest gift of respect and dignity that we can pay to each other in the hour of our suffering and death, even if it is the most painful for us.
My brother was in a small long term care home, and I watched the beautiful dance that patients and staff engaged in for well over a week. The cheery morning hellos and the tender evening goodbyes in case the inevitable happens between shifts. The gentle yet strong way he was cleaned and tidied after each visit, the quiet banter and joking that occurred while he was changed and bathed which sometimes caused him distress and discomfort. As with mothers cooing over their little ones, the empathy and compassion shone right though every staff member attending him.
These are difficult days for those who love because you spend the entire time with your heart ragged and your emotions raw as you watch your beloved go through moments of torment and suffering while you have to work and carry on as if it were all so normal.
But to suggest, as euthanasia and assisted suicide advocates do, that killing a human being at any stage of this is respecting them is a falsehood of tremendous proportions. In these moments the nursing staff step up to assist with the symptoms, the discomfort and the fears, consoling the patient and the family by their presence and caring. We watched as the medication took effect and, as in this case, my brother settled into a time of peace and relaxation.
I thank God for the moments when Seamus was so acutely aware of our presence, and I also thank God for the technology which allowed me to be at his bedside all night while my sister got some sleep, since I am in Canada and they were in England. I thank God that I could watch from afar the last moments of his precious life and for the wonderful caring that the nursing and other staff offered him while he travelled the road from this side to the next.
“Being with” is the real gift we can give each other whether it is as a family member, medical staff, or society – showing each human being how precious their lives are, even when we can do nothing other than serve them by just being there. This is the real humanity, the real dignity, and the real autonomy. Legalizing so-called medical assistance in dying (MAiD) is the true abandonment – in which I am told Canada leads the world. What a sad legacy for such a young country.
To those politicians reading this piece, if you have ever believed that killing a human being is the answer, you are dead wrong. It is time we pulled the blinders off Canadian eyes and started using the words that describe what MAiD really is: a medical and societal abandonment, a lethal choice, and a governmental economic decision disguised as so-called personal autonomy. MAiD says, “What is paying $400 for lethal drugs against the thousands that might be spent on patients who are dying anyway?”
Canadian politicians have provided near universal killing via MAiD, yet 70% to 85% of Canadians do not have access to the loving and respectful care that my brother received. The saddest part of all is that there are medical staff, physicians, and nurses who will take part in this killing, possibly making them feel godlike, I imagine. That makes them more like assassins in my book.
Canadian hearts have been hardened against those who need us the most. Perhaps their suffering raises our own fear of loss of ability, for we do not even have the heart to be with them and watch because it causes us too much pain. Well, grow up, Canada. This is what we do as humans for each other when we are grown up: we get the strength from somewhere to watch and wait, to lament and weep, to cry out for the loss but continue to hold, to care, but mostly to just be there.
It seemed ironic to me that I received an e-blast from an organization dedicated to promoting medical killing under the guise of autonomy and choice just as I was finishing this article. I find it repulsive that we as a Canadian society have lost our “brotherhood of man” ethic and so readily adopted one of medical assassination instead.
I was able to “be with” my brother as he breathed his last breath. I spent two weeks at his side for almost 24 hours a day via internet, while also supporting my sister. I pray that all people of good will, will be prepared to counter the 2023 death offensive which is being organized by euthanasia enthusiasts across Canada. It will need all of us pulling together to end this killing in order to “be with” each Canadian and their family during this tragic and heart-wrenching time of loss.
Mrs. Jakki Jeffs is the Executive Director of Alliance for Life Ontario.