October 18, 2011 (LifeSiteNews.com) – Everyone loves polar bears, don’t they? That’s why they’re the mascot of choice for Coca Cola’s annual “Christmas” ads—the ones that make no reference whatsoever to Christmas. That’s also why they’re the official icon of the global warming crowd—later re-dubbed the “climate change” crowd due to the increasingly evident fact that the Earth isn’t warming at all.
The climate change people, which perhaps not coincidentally are the same folks who urgently want you to kill your unborn child and contracept your family into extinction, have been using polar bears in their scare campaigns for years. One of their favorite motifs is a polar bear stuck on a floating piece of ice, as the glaciers melt around him. Polar bears can swim dozens of miles a day in the cold arctic waters and enjoy resting on floating chunks of ice, but such details never seem to make their way into the story line.
Even more problematical for the global warming—I mean climate change—people, is the uncomfortable fact that their mascot appears not to be disappearing on schedule. As a consequence, the polar bear appears to be increasingly unserviceable as an icon of “climate change” alarmism.
But just when you thought the polar bear was doomed to early retirement, the professional hysterics have a new crisis to emote over. The polar bears may not be disappearing, but they are…shrinking.
That’s right. Shrinking. They’re not as big as they used to be. Reporters are not specifying how much smaller the polar bears are, but rest assured that the mainstream media would never publicize the matter if it wasn’t serious.
Not only are polar bears shrinking, but some other species are as well. What’s more, the shrinkage has to do with higher global temperatures, according to a group of scientists who are busy publicizing their species-size study recently published in the journal “Nature Climate Change.”
“This could negatively impact both crop plants and protein sources such as fish that are important for human nutrition. Furthermore, heterogeneity in response is likely to upset ecosystem balances,” the study’s authors write in the article’s abstract.
However, some scientists, who sound suspiciously like climate change “deniers,” scoffed at the study’s results.
Yoram Yom-Tov, a Tel Aviv zoologist cited in the study, told the Associated Press that “Changes in body size are a normal phenomenon,” and added: “When conditions are favorable, they increase in size or reproduce at higher rates, and when conditions are deteriorating, they do the opposite. I think that most species will adapt to climate change and survive. No need for alarm.”
Stanford biologist Terry Root even went so far as calling the results “far-fetched” in an interview with the same agency.
You just wait, you global warming—I mean climate change—scoffers. Wait until polar bears are so small that they are clearly not as big as they used to be. Wait until they have to be resized for Coca-Cola commercials. You just wait. Will you laugh then?
Do the right thing. Recycle and reduce your “carbon footprint” to fight polar bear shrinkage. Vote for big government, and draconian restrictions on economic activity. If you don’t, your children will ask you: what were you doing when the polar bears were getting smaller? Wait, scratch that—you shouldn’t have any children. Children cause climate change, and climate change causes polar bear shrinkage.