The rape was horrific, but choosing life for my baby changed everything
September 16, 2016 (Savethe1) -- On Dec. 22, 2008, I was raped. Perhaps you can imagine how difficult it is to relive a rape, so I will not go into the details. On the following day, I went to the doctor and was given medicine for prevention of diseases and the morning after pill – which I later learned is potentially an abortifacient. Six weeks later, I went to the doctor and underwent blood testing, but I was not given a standard pregnancy test. However, a couple of days later, their doctor’s office called to tell me I was pregnant!
I was scared as hell, and perplexed. See, I always tried and wanted to get pregnant over the years by the guys I loved, but never could. I thought I was infertile, so of course, I was shocked and surprised.
Immediately, I thought about an abortion when told I was six weeks along, but given the price which I could not afford, I was crushed! Then I contemplated self-aborting and the thought made me sick, so I decided on adoption. But I still had regrets of carrying a baby conceived from the rape.
I called and met with an adoption agency. They wanted me to sign papers right away, and they also asked me about getting screened for Down Syndrome because I was older. Whether the baby had Down Syndrome made no difference to me, so this really troubled me and left me uncomfortable with the agency.
I spoke to a Facebook friend Ralph (God bless him) and he mentioned he had a sister near me who could speak at her church about my situation A few hours later, I received two phone calls -- one of them was Karen, who is a blessing and an angel sent from above. She told me she would be willing to either help me raise the child or she would adopt the baby. I was stunned to hear that she truly cared about me, whether or not she ultimately adopted the baby. I met up with her later that week. She bought me my favorite doughnuts (which I never told her they were), and we spoke at length.
Karen told me she had two little boys who were adopted. We quickly bonded and she told me that she loved me, and I could see how genuine she was!
Well, our first doctor’s appointment was very emotional. She explained to the doctor my situation. Also, my deepest regret is that I was abusing drugs. We found out I was 6-8 weeks pregnant. We did the ultrasound and heard the baby's heartbeat. When she first heard the baby's heartbeat, I knew this was right and I loved her. I swore and promised Karen I would not do drugs during this journey.
During my pregnancy, we did everything together. I was carrying her baby and I was, as we jokingly said, "The Incubator." I know that a lot of people would be offended to read such a thing, but I just want to give you an idea of how well we bonded -- that we were able to actually joke around like that. As we went through the journey, I saw the baby grow inside her heart, as I was just carrying a baby that God meant to be given a chance at life.
We learned the sex of the baby -- he was a boy! Karen was so loving and still is a caring person who had seven children and had more love to give to more babies. Thankfully, I was just carrying one. But she drove nearly three hours each week to go through the precious journey with me. I saw the sonograms at check-ups, and I was amazed.
See, if you are given or blessed with a baby conceived by a rape, you can turn a tragedy into something wonderful. Karen is such a beautiful woman with a loving soul and I am so very lucky to have met and chosen her. She even helped me with getting out of my bad apartment and found me a new one with donations of furniture. She understood I struggled with mental illness, so we took all precautions and went to counseling. I was very happy that I met someone who loved me and the baby unconditionally.
We learned that the baby was due around September, 2009. I dropped my old friends as she blessed me by introducing me to her family and friends, and God. It was a hard journey that turned into something very precious. My ob/gyn was understanding while I battled very bad morning sickness. Oh, and I forgot to mention I had Hepatitis C from a previous rape, so this was a delicate matter.
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We agreed on a C-section. While I saw my doctor one day, he told us he wanted to induce labor. When we got to the hospital, we were then told I was progressing rapidly and that I was going to have a natural childbirth! Say whaaat? So as I was going through contractions, I knew that we were going through this together. Late on September 11, 2009 the baby was born as Karen and Bobby (her husband) went through a very memorable birth.
Once I delivered, Bobby went off with the baby but Karen stood by me until she was confident I was okay. And then she finally met her son. I never saw him, but she was so very happy and moved. He is a very loved and happy little one!
Karen is still and will always be a part of my life. But I learned that this child born from a rape turned tragedy into something beautiful. I do not have nightmares about the rape. I gave Karen and her family an eternal and precious gift! That was the experience. I am very happy that he was not aborted. God made it this way. It was all of us -- our journey. What I lost, I gave something special. Turning a tragedy into a precious gift -- it was a beautiful journey. And I will always carry him in my heart. I made Karen and her family into something more than special. It was a blessing.
If you have been raped and find that you are pregnant, you too can turn something so horrible into something incredible and special.
Reprinted with permission from Save the 1.